Robin said that Beet had a Mohawk today. Howard asked if he does that himself or if his manager does that. Beet said that Bobby, his manager, cuts it. Howard asked if he ever gets confused with Will I Am from the Black Eyed Peas. He said that they do. Beet told Howard that he was also in the Super Bowl.
Howard asked Beet if he gets tired of doing the appearances. Beet said he loves it. He said he loves traveling and he can get away for a week. Howard said that one of the guys was telling him about Beet fucking a girl and he didn’t pay her. Howard said he must get away with getting stuff for free all the time. Howard said he must not have any money on him. Beet said he had at least 50 grand on him. Howard told him to pull some out for him. Beet said he don’t pull money out. He keeps it all in the bank.
Howard said that Beet shot a movie with Sal. He asked what the name of the movie was. Beet mumbled something that sounded something like Sexual Love. Howard said he heard that he shit his thong too. Beet said that’s not true.
Howard asked Beet about what Sal did to him on the set of the movie. Beet said he got really fuckin mad at Sal about what he did. He put his dick out in a bucket of chicken. He said he told Sal he was going to beat the shit out of him if he did that again. Beet said he did it in front of one of his friends too.
Sal came in and apologized and told Beet he had a gift for him to apologize. Beet, who sounded very drunk, was telling Sal that he just can’t do that shit to him. Beet asked if he thinks he’s stupid. He kept asking over and over. Beet told Sal that he’d hit him if he tried that again. Sal tried to give him a gift in a bag but Beet wasn’t falling for the trick again. Beet said that Sal is trying to act like a man but he’s acting like a little bitch. Robin and Howard told Sal to get out of there.
Howard said Sal thinks he’s funny. Beet said he’s not fuckin funny. Howard said he didn’t like what Sal did. Beet said it wasn’t funny. Howard said he didn’t know anything about it. Beet said it cost him a lot of money. It cost him at least 5 grand. Then beet said it was like 2 grand… or 3,000 dollars. Howard asked why it cost him money. Beet said he has people working for him.
Howard said he heard that Beet isn’t a fan of President Obama. Beet said that he gave his mother a birthday card and he told him that if he sent her one again then he’d break his fuckin neck. Beet said he doesn’t like his black ass and he’ll beat his black ass. Howard asked if Beet is black. Beet said he’s Puerto Rican. Bet said President Obama is a piece of garbage. He said he doesn’t do anything and he just sits around all day doing nothing. Beet said that Bush was better and he worked and paid people. Howard asked how many times he voted for Bush. Beet said he voted for him 3 or 4 times.
Howard asked Beet about this movie he made. Beet said he made it with George Clinton and George Bush. Howard tried to get a straight answer out of him but Beet wasn’t giving him one.
Howard said he heard a story about Beetlejuice. He was out on the road with his manager Bobby and Beet jerked off on the road and he told Bobby that it was an accident. Beet said he jerks off in front of Bobby’s wife. He said that he likes to do that. He said he’ll do it in the kitchen. He said he does it right in front of Bobby’s wife.
Howard asked Beet if he knows what comes out of his penis. Beet said that’s ”scum.” Howard asked what she does when he jerks off in front of her. Beet said it turns her on a couple of times. Beet said he does it in front of his own wife too. Beet was all over the place rambling about that stuff.
Howard asked Beet about why he hates black people because it looks like he’s a black man. Beet said he is but he didn’t say he hates black people. Beet said that he never said that black people are gorillas. He said that they ain’t gorillas.
Howard said he had President Obama on the phone. He picked up and had a guy playing the part. Beet said he likes him. Then Beet started calling him a piece of shit after he insulted him. Howard said he thinks that this guy is disguising his voice. Beet was calling him names and saying that he was a piece of shit and he’d beat the shit out of him. Beet said he knows that he’ll knock him out too.
Howard took a call from a guy who said that he’s going to prove that Beet isn’t Puerto Rican and asked him to speak Spanish. Beet went off on him telling him to go fuck himself and things like that. Beet did try speaking in Spanish but it was just gibberish. He did the same in Chinese and Swedish when Howard asked him to.
Howard gave Beet some more plugs for his upcoming appearances. Howard said that he’s also on Twitter now. He said you can follow him at Twitter.com/BeetlePimp.
Beet said he has Twitter and he has a phone that he uses to call his wife every day. Howard let some more callers ask Beet some questions. Beet said he has a lot of sex and he’s just going to do it if he wants to do it. One caller said that Beet was a prick to him. He said Wee Man was a gentleman but Beet isn’t that nice. He said he tried to get him to shake his hand but he had to go and wash it with battery acid. Beet said that’s because he’s a piece of garbage.
Howard took a call from the guys in the back who were playing clips of Robin. They had her asking Beet he wanted her to suck his cock and things like that. Howard said they had a live wire there.
Howard had the guys bring in Beet’s buddy Dominic the Dwarf who says that Beet still shits in his pants and he smooshes it into his underwear. Howard asked about the thong getting shit on it. Dominic said that he brings extra drawers for his friend when they go out on the road. Dominic said that no matter what Beet does he’s still his friend.
Howard took a call from Artie Lange (audio clips) who was telling Beet he was a jerk off and a loser. Howard said that ain’t right. Beet went off on Artie even though it wasn’t really him. Beet told him that he’s an asshole. Howard took another call from High Pitch Eric who was doing his Ted Williams impression. Howard didn’t last long with him though.
Howard took a call from a guy who said that Beet was on fire this morning. The caller said that Beet signed something for him up in Vermont that looked like F-you. He said Beet looked high that night. Beet said he does get high sometimes.
Howard took a call from the guys in the back who were playing Crazy Alice audio clips. They had her yelling at Beet and calling him names. Beet seemed to think it was a dude. He was saying that his wife fucked him last week.
Howard gave Beet some more plugs for his upcoming appearances at the Social House of Saulard in St. Louis on February 26th and in Cleveland, Ohio on March 4 at the Now That’s Class club. Howard said that he heard Dominic is the one who shits his pants and then he puts his pants on Beetlejuice. That’s what beet claims. Beet said he doesn’t shit his own pants. Dominic said his shit is like putty and when it’s in there it’s in there good. Dominic said Beet shits while he’s fucking too. Howard said that must feel great.
Howard played one of Beet’s songs that they put together with Richard Christy and Leslie West. Howard said Beet nailed it in that song. He said this is his best song.
Howard took a call from a guy who asked Beet how many times he’s died. Beet said he died like 10 years ago. Howard asked if he believes in heaven. Beet said ”maybe.” He said if he died he would be Baby Jesus. Howard said he wishes him luck with his appearances and gave him another pug for his Twitter. Beet was still rambling but Howard had to go to break. He was about to go but Beet was saying that he has new music coming out in April. Fred played a song that wasn’t his but Beet said that’s what he has coming out. They went to break a short time later.