February 22 (Recap)

Howard Back Live, Talking American Idol Rumors. 02/22/10. 6:00am
Show opening bits and songs included: Sal the Stockbroker’s apology clip, Mark Farner of Grand Funk Railroad performing ”I’m Your Captain / I’m Getting Closer” live in the Howard Stern Show studio.

Howard and the guys were back from their week long vacation this morning. Howard started the show having some trouble getting himself on air. He was also welcoming himself back to the air. He said he wasn’t sure where to start with everything he had to talk about. He said they had the American Idol rumor to talk about. He said a lot of conversation has been going on about that.

Robin said she saw that Simon Cowell commented on that. Howard said he understands that Simon is leaving the show to compete with the show but he won’t be on against it. He said he’s bringing his own show over to FOX. He said he wasn’t even sure where to begin with this.

Howard said he never came out publicly and talked about how this got started. Howard said there was a report in the paper about how he was offered the job. He never confirmed it. He said that they claimed he was going to get paid $100 million to do it and if that was true, how could he turn it down. All he said was that eh would do it for that kind of money. Howard said he’s not going to turn down that money.

Howard said it would be that kind of money to basically do nothing. He said he never said if he was offered the job. Howard said there is something he said on the air that instigated ti all. He said that he had been offered ”a job” at one of the leading networks judging in a prime time show. He never said what network it was or what show it was. He said that it could be a new show or an old show but no one knew what it was. He said he just had some fun with the Idol talk.

Howard said everyone is having fun with the whole thing and he has a whole page of people discussing this thing like he’s running for President of the United States. He said that they say that he’s a horrible judge and they’re already getting rid of him.

Howard said the most interesting thing is that Simon Cowell came out and made a statement about him. He said that it was almost like he did a press conference. Howard said Cowell didn’t make any sense. He was all over the place with his comments. Howard said that he thinks Cowell just doesn’t want him replacing him. Howard said when David Lee Roth came in to replace him he was thrilled about it. He said he doesn’t think Simon is in that same place.

Howard said he heard that people were worried that he was going to cause them problems with sponsors and things like that. Howard said he never causes David Letterman any problems when he goes on there. He said he that wouldn’t happen with Idol. He said he’s not going to ask one of the kids if they have a smelly vagina or anything like that. He said people think he’s a maniac.

Howard said he keeps reading that he’s lobbying to get the job. He said they got a hold of Beth somewhere and they asked her what she thinks. Beth said the show is funny to watch with Howard. He said that’s what his wife is going to say and it was taken from that comment that he’s lobbying to get the job. Howard said he doesn’t care if he’s on that show. He thinks it’s just a shitty karaoke contest. He also thinks that Ellen is a cunt and he’s sure that they’re not going to hire him to be on that show if he’s saying that.

Howard said he’s not lobbying for that job. He said he doesn’t need to be a judge on a reality show. He said that the person who wrote that is a fucking maniac. He said he’s being painted as someone who is dying for the job. He said he’s not. If they’re going to offer him a $100 million then he’ll do it but he’s not desperate for that job.

Howard said Simon was saying that he’s not a good looking man in this press conference he held. Howard said Simon was also saying that Perez Hilton would be a good replacement. Howard said he likes Perez but he doesn’t think he’s a good looking man either. Howard said Simon has man tits too so he’s not one to be talking about someone’s looks.

Howard said he’s an American icon who changed radio. He said he’s had a film, book, pay-per-view specials, TV shows and more all in American media. He said that during his career he’s been responsible for generating interest in long standing musical artists. He said he’s backed then and nurtured them. He said that Simon is from England and judges ”American” Idols on a network run by an Australian. Howard said he also created an American Idol-like thing on radio back in the 80s when he would have people come in and judge musical acts on his radio show. He said he’s just as qualified for the job as Simon Cowell is.

Howard said the show is doomed without Simon on the show. He said he’s been watching Ellen on the show and she’s as odd as they come. He said she’s unrelatable and very awkward. Howard said Kara Diguardi is horrible on the show too.

Howard said Simon’s claim to fame was a record album for wrestlemania. Howard said he’s got a personality and that’s why he’s qualified for that job. Robin said that he’s a perfect critic because he’s nasty to people who have talent. He’s a good critic and Howard thinks he is one too.

Robin brought up Jay Leno during that discussion so Howard went off on him for a minute. He was talking about how annoying his new commercials are. He said that no one wants to see Jay driving around in his million dollar cars in this economy. He said it’s just going to piss them off.

Howard read some articles about Simon’s comments about him. Howard read through those and then said that Gawker.com is the site where they said he was relentlessly trying to get the job. Howard said he never said he would even take it. He said he sounds like a desperate nut in these articles.

Howard made a statement about how he is qualified to do that show. He said that he’s had a career in the business and has experience with musicians and Simon is an Englishman who isn’t even as qualified as him.

Howard said that Ellen was saying she would quit the show if they hired him. He said that would be a great way to get rid of her. He said she’s disturbing to look at on that show. He said the ratings are dropping even more this year. He said that Kara isn’t helping the show either.

Howard said they’re saying that he doesn’t know anything about music but neither does Ellen. He said that she just dances to music. Howard said he watches that show for Simon’s opinion and if he’s not in place then he’s not watching.

Howard asked JD if he should play any of these clips he had. JD told him about some of the clips and suggested a couple. Howard played one where this news reporter was talking about the way Howard was bashing Ellen and then played some of his comments about her and how he wants to get her off the show.

Howard said that Ellen is a cunt and they should have played that clip on that show. He said that he’s got people telling him that they’re happy he’s talking about what a cunt she really is off the air. EH said that she pretends to be nice on the air but there are people who think she’s awful to work with.

Howard said he got a note from a famous media consultant and asked him how much Idol is paying him for all of this coverage.

Howard played another clip where this woman was saying that he was being crass and rude about Ellen. Howard said he’s just being honest. Howard said he knows that Simon doesn’t like working with Ellen either. He said that he’s keeping his mouth shut though.

Howard played more audio where they were talking about how dirty he could be on that show. Howard said he can be clean on network TV. He said he might be rated R on satellite radio but he can clean it up for TV.

Howard said there were other reports where they said that he was negotiating with satellite radio so that’s why he was doing all of this. Howard said that reporters are also looking for quotes but they can just quote what he says now. He said he’s not negotiating with SIRIUS right now. He said when eh got there they had 600,000 subscribers. Within years they were in the millions. He said that he did his job there and he’s probably outlived his usefulness. He said that someone reported that XM is doing just fine without him on their service. Howard said they bought out that company so he’s not sure how they’re doing just fine.

Howard said everyone thinks that they can do just fine without him there. He said if that’s what they believe then he’s just going to leave and watch the company crumble like terrestrial radio did when he left. He said that’s what these ”specialists” are saying about him. He said that they’re also saying that he’s lost influence on satellite. EH said he’s glad he did because the FCC is leaving him alone now. He said he loves broadcasting there. He said he can say what he wants and they leave him alone.

Howard said that CBS Radio just announced that they’re 57 percent down. He said that’s what they can expect if he leaves this company. Howard said they claim that he hasn’t helped their stock but that has nothing to do with him. He said he can just bring millions of subscribers there. He doesn’t have anything to do with the way they run the company.

Howard said he is fantastic and wonderful and Simon Cowell is afraid of him taking over his spot. He said Simon wants that show to fail because he wants his own show, X Factor, to be a success.

Howard said that Ellen was asking for a $150,000 clothing budget on that show. He said she just wears pants and a vest so he’s not sure what that money is for.

Howard played some more of the news report he had. They were talking about Howard’s comments about Ellen and played one where he talked about her being a Covergirl model and how fake the pictures look. The reporters were talking about the way Howard was playing this game but Howard cut that off and said he’s never played these kind of games. He said they’re morons on this program where they’re talking about him. He said he’s not going to play games trying to be nice to Ellen just so he can get on that show.

Howard said he isn’t afraid of Ellen. He said if she wants to work with him that’s fine. He said he’s not going to pretend to like her though. He said there might be some coldness on the show but that’s fine. They can throw insults back and forth about how they’re both ugly.

Howard played another news report were some people were talking about the way he was slamming Ellen on his show. One of the reporters said he’s just trying to get attention and he doesn’t want the rumors to go away. Howard said he can fix that. He said he doesn’t want the job. There, that’s it.

Howard talked about how lame Ellen is on Idol. He talked about the way they were looking at the pictures of the contestants and rearranging them on the table and how he just wanted her to get the fuck off the show when he saw that. He said that she has this weird stare too and she never blinks. Howard said she wears those man pants and the vest and it’s just weird. He said she wears the same shit all the time and maybe she should wear a dress once in a while.

Howard said Ellen dresses like a man all the time so he’s going to dress like a woman on that show. Robin said the kids would be very confused by that. Howard said kids wouldn’t know what to make of it.

Howard played more of the clip where they were talking about Ellen’s looks and the comments Howard made about her.

Howard said on TMZ they seem to think he’s going to jerk off on the show or something like that. Howard was about to play that clip but he said that Fred Schneider from the B-52s was coming in today. He thought it was tomorrow but Fred and Gary corrected him and said it was today.

Howard brought up how they had a hit singer from a band on the show when they had Simon Cowell, Paula Abdul and Randy Jackson on the show one time. They had the guy perform and they thought he sucked. Meanwhile the guy had a hit song at the time.

Howard played the TMZ report about him where they were saying that Howard was pissed about the comments Ellen was making about him. They played a couple of audio clips from the show where he was going off on Ellen. Howard said he has to take the job because everyone is mouthing off about him.

Howard took a call from a guy who said that he’s tired of Howard’s constant bashing of Ellen. Howard ended up hanging up on the guy.


JD’s Second Date With Ashley Dupre. 02/22/10. 6:50am
Howard said that JD went out with Ashley Dupre over the vacation. He said that they got an offer to go see Shutter Island over vacation but he wasn’t around. He said that they were offered the private screening so JD took Ashley Dupre there. He said that she wasn’t responding to him for a while but she responded to this private screening offer.
Howard asked how she looked. JD said she looked good. He asked who she sat next to. JD said she sat next to him.

JD said he met Ashley at the movie. He said that she had to go out with her mother after the movie so he didn’t get to hang out with her after. Howard and Fred were doing their impressions of JD and goofing on him about the date.

Howard asked JD if he had any conversation after the movie. JD said they kind of did. He said she left shortly after the movie was over. Howard told JD he’s getting played and he should give it up now. He said that she’s not interested in him. He said that she wouldn’t run out of there if she was interested. Howard said Ashley lives with her mom. He said that she eats dinner with her every fuckin’ night. JD said she doesn’t but ”whatever.”

Howard asked JD what he wore to the date. He heard that he was all shaved and trying to look nice. JD said he was wearing a sweater and nice pants. He said he did shave. He didn’t wear any cologne. He doesn’t ever wear any fragrance. Howard asked if he wore that really cool Cheetos t-shirt he has. JD said he didn’t wear that.

Howard told JD that she didn’t meet her mom for dinner. Robin said she had two hours to give JD and it was all in a movie. Howard made up the conversation that Ashley must have had with her mom telling her that she had to pretend to be going out to dinner with her.

Howard said he heard from Ralph that the movie Shutter Island was amazing. JD said it started off slow but it did get good.

Howard said if Ashley was there with a guy she was into, she wouldn’t have run off to dinner with her mom. He said that if she wanted him then she would have stuck around.

Howard asked JD if he got to talk to Ashley during the movie at all. He said they did talk a little bit about the movie. Fred was doing his JD impression saying that he touched her boob with his elbow during the movie. Howard said he heard that he was bragging that she kissed him on the cheek after the movie. JD said he wasn’t bragging. Eh said he just said he got a hug and a kiss on the cheek. He said he knows where he is and how he’s stuck in this hole. Howard said he’s going to help him get out of the hole.

Howard said thanks to the movie ”She’s Out of My League” he has $5,000 for him to take her out on a dream date. Howard said that he should tell her that he’s going to give her $4,000 for a blow job and a $1000 tip. JD just said ”Oh god…”

Howard said eh heard that they were both texting Jon Hein during the movie. JD said he was doing that and she got in on it too. robin asked if he got her anything to eat or drink during the movie. JD said he may have gotten her some candy.

Howard told JD he can take her out on a date with his 5 grand he has. He asked him what he would do. JD said he’s not sure that she would be up for it. Gary said that the money is to spend on the girl who is out of his league so he has to figure out what the date would be like. Howard said that maybe he can get a fantasy suite somewhere. He said they could fly to Miami and stay at a nice place down there. Howard said it would be just one night though.

Howard asked about his texting with Jon Hein. He asked if she was reading over his shoulder. JD said they all had the same thoughts at certain points. They got confused at times so they would text back and forth. He said Ashley agreed with Jon at one point and took over the texting.

Howard said that was a good move. That got her involved. Howard asked if he fantasized about what it would be like to be her boyfriend. JD said he wasn’t thinking about that.

Howard told JD to give him a fantasy date and they’ll give him this 5 grand. JD said he’s not much of a dater so he has to think about it. Howard told him to take her shopping or something. JD said maybe he’ll do that. Howard said he has to run it by him first. JD said he has to talk to her about it. Howard told JD not to tell her, just take her out shopping and don’t tell her he has this 5 grand.

JD said that Ashley texted him and told him that she wanted to be clear that they’re just friends and she doesn’t want to lead him on. Robin asked why he’s leading them on then. JD said that they brought it up, not him. Howard asked him if he wants to do the $5,000 thing. JD said he guesses so. Howard asked if he jerked off after the date. JD said he didn’t but Howard didn’t believe him. EH said he had to be lying. JD said that he didn’t do that and he doesn’t do everything Howard would do.

Howard told JD not to be lame about the date and just tell her that he’s going to take her out in a limo and take her down to Atlantic City. Howard said JD would run out of money if he took her to Vegas. Eh said they should just go to Atlantic City and hang out down there.

Howard and Fred did their impressions of JD telling Ashley about their date in A.C. They were saying they could go down and get a couple’s massage or something like that. JD can pretend it’s his limo and take her down there to hang out.

Howard had JD asking what he had to do to fuck her. Howard told JD to do it until he’s satisfied. JD said that’s all he can do. Howard said that he wanted to thank the movie ”She’s Out of My League” for the money. He told JD to come up with a dream date and let him know about it tomorrow. JD didn’t sound all that into it though.

Howard asked JD what he would do if he could go out on a date. JD said it depends on who the person is. Robin said that they know who it is.

Gary came in and said that JD could get two tickets on Air France to go over to France for the day. Gary said that the tickets are $2500 and they’d have $2500 to play with when they get there. Gary said that’s the kind of stuff they could do.

Gary asked JD if he knows what Ashley likes. JD said they’ve only been out twice. He said he doesn’t know what she likes to do. JD said he did most of the talking the first time they went out. He said he knows she likes the Jerky Boys. Howard said he could fly her to France for a night. He said he should take her down to Palm Beach. Robin said they should go to Miami. Howard said there are too many good looking guys in Miami.

Howard said JD and Ashley could text Jon Hein from the pool down there. The guys were saying they could send JD and Ashley to a deserted island. Howard said that he might become more attractive if the island is just full of the natives and JD. They were trying to help him get set up with this chick. Fred and Howard continued to goof around doing impressions of him. Howard told JD to report back to him tomorrow about this.

Robin asked JD if he’s ever dreamt about a romantic date. JD said he never has. Howard said JD has a dream that some day he’ll have a dream. He thanked JD for coming in and let him go. He said he’s just trying to help out his boy there. He said he’s trying to build up that self esteem. They had to go to break a short time later.


More Idol News Clips. 02/22/10. 7:25am
After the break we heard some prank calls Sal and Richard made to a Swap Shop show. Fred also played Lenny Kravitz’s ”American Woman” as they were coming back from break.
Howard came back and said he had a great clip to play. He said it was the funniest one yet. He played that one and the reporters were talking about the rumors about him going to Idol. They quoted his comments about wanting Ellen to leave the show if he gets on the show. They also had some of his comments about some of the contestants on the show. Then one of the reporters said that he wanted to say that Carrie Underwood did not need to lose weight. Howard said that this guy is looking at pictures of her now and not when she was originally on the show. Howard said she was fat when she was on Idol originally. He said she did lose weight and she looks terrific now. He was right again.

Howard said the Wall Street Journal had a whole article about him and the picture they had was kick ass. He said he liked that and the article seemed to be pretty positive. Howard said he was in a black duster and he was very Darth Vader-ish. Howard said he liked that picture. Howard said it was the right angle for him. He said that Scott DePace knows how to get the right angle after all these years.

Howard said there are a bunch of other funny reports about him. He said that when they quote him it sounds much worse than when he says it himself.

Howard played another clip where some reporters were talking about Paula Abdul’s comments about Howard possibly joining the show. One of the reporters said he thinks they need Howard on that show and he’d be a great choice for the judge. He said that if they took the chance it would pay off huge for them. Another reporter asked if anyone could have as much star power as Simon. The guy said Howard has a lot of star power. Howard said he has more. It turns out it was Harvey Levin from TMZ talking about how great Howard would be on the show.

Howard said he’s not going to campaign for that show but if they offered him $100 million to do it, he’s not going to turn it down.

Lisa G’s Howard 100 News Preview. 02/22/10. 7:35am
Howard had Lisa G come in with her news preview. Lisa said that Robin’s shower for Shuli’s wife is causing some confusion. The invitation had said it was from noon to 7pm but a new one came out and now it’s from noon to 3. Robin said she did this e-vite and they put the 7 in there, not her. Robin said she just put in there that it started at noon and the e-vite said 7. She had to fix that. They’re throwing the shower for Shuli’s wife and Richard’s fiancee. Howard said he forgot about Richard getting married. He said that Shuli having a baby is crazy but so is Richard getting married.
Howard said some of the women are upset that the party is at noon during the week. robin said that it wasn’t just her. She said that Pam Sabean was part of that. Robin said that there are some people who are upset about the timing of the shower. Robin said she let Pam call the shots. Robin said they realized what they were doing but it was comfortable for them.

Lisa said she just found something out. She said that Kristin has to work on a Saturday now that she has to take time out to go to the party. Howard laughed when he heard that. He asked Robin how they can have a party at noon during the week for people who have to work. Robin said she may have done it at a different time. She was about to say she would have done it on the weekend but took that back.

Howard asked who else is going. Robin said that Lisa is coming. She said that it should be her, Pam and Mary Dell’Abate too. Howard said that this is crazy that they’re doing this party at that time.

Lisa said they spoke to the owner of Crumb’s Baker about the cookie fiasco that was going on there. She said that they’re going to be sending more cookies there and they’re also thinking about selling them online now that they’ve had so much attention over them.

Howard said that he can’t believe what was going on with Ronnie and Jason there. He said that he had to put a stop to it. Ronnie was supposed to be watching the halls and not caring what Jason is saying. Howard said he had to straighten it all out. Howard said that Ronnie is not to touch the cookies anymore. He said he’s just going to walk right by them from now on.

Ronnie came in and said eh thought Howard was dropping this. Howard said he did drop it. He said Ronnie isn’t going to be delivering cookies anymore. Howard said Ronnie is not in charge of all of that. He gets worked up over this stuff too much. Howard said Ronnie is supposed to be the sheriff out there and he’s out of control. He said it’s like they have Mexico out there in the hall. He said they need someone watching over Ronnie now.

Ronnie came back so Howard asked if he fixed his beard out there. Ronnie asked how he messed up in this whole thing. Howard said he was fighting with people and he doesn’t need him doing that. Ronnie said he wasn’t fighting with anyone. Howard said Ronnie has to just relax. Ronnie said he spoke to Jason this morning and said that they just have to move on. Howard said Ronnie is the law and if they have to watch the law then they have Mexico out there.

Howard said there’s a new movie out called ”A Dangerous Man” and it’s a new Steven Seagal movie. He said he didn’t know he was still making movies. Howard said Seagal is the size of an elephant. EH said that he goes to jail after being wrongly accused of a crime. They offer him $350,000 when he gets out and Steven turns it down. Seagal gets out and he gets involved in some kind of mess with a mafia organization. Howard said the guy has 14 chins but he’s whipping the shit out of these young karate guys who are attacking 14 at a time. Howard said there’s a hot chick in the movie who falls in love with this one. He said that they have gratuitous sex scenes in this movie too. Howard said the guy barely moves when he fights. He’s like a beached whale. He said he gives it a big thumbs up.

Howard told Ronnie he should fashion his life around this guy Steven Seagal. Howard said that he should juts stand around and eat. Ronnie said he’s just going to mind his own business.

Lisa got back to her news and said that Robert Schimmel got a lot of feedback from the show when he was on. There have been hundreds of people who have offered to help out with their liver. She said that he’s also lost some gigs because people are afraid that he’s not going to be able to perform. Lisa said she’s also been getting tested at the Mayo clinic. Howard thanked her for that and let her go.


New Miss Howard TV Destiny Dixon Visits. 02/22/10. 7:55am
Howard introduced the new Miss Howard TV, Destiny Dixon. Destiny came in and Howard told her she looks good. She said that she’s a professional motorcycle stunt rider. Howard said he saw her web site and read her profile. He read that she’s afraid of black guy’s cocks but not of riding motorcycles. She said she has broken her tail bone a few times. She’s broken her toes and ankles too.
Destiny told Howard she has started to do porn on her web site. she said that she does girl on girl porn stuff. Howard said he tried to get into the web site but he wasn’t able to log in. He read about her cup size, height and weight and said that they were all just right. Howard found out that she has implants. she went from an A-cup to a D-cup. Howard asked to see them. She whipped them out and showed them.

Howard read about Destiny’s web site and the live web cam shows she does. she said that she masturbates on her cam when guys tell her what to do. Howard asked if she was the hot girl in high school. she said she wasn’t really.

Howard said that she has some tattoos but she should stop now. She said that she’s done with what she has. Howard read that she masturbates about 20 times a week. Destiny said she uses the big Hitachi and that thing rocks her world every time. She said it takes just 20-30 seconds to finish. Robin said she uses that one too and that’s abut how long it takes with her too. Howard said he wants to know if it’s a whole ritual that they do or do they just shove that thing down there and get off. Robin said she just thinks about things in her head, she doesn’t need pictures. Destiny said she’s the same way.

Howard said that Destiny does ”panty stuffing” so he wondered what that was. She said that it’s a fetish. She said she shoves her panties in there when she gets wet and guys love it. Howard said he wouldn’t want to see that. She said that guys love it. Robin said that the must want the whole panty saturated. Destiny said that guys like to see the cum all over them when she pulls them out. Howard said he wouldn’t want to see that.

Howard asked if the guys buy panties when she’s done with them. She aid that some guys do. She said some guys will pay $500-600 for them. She said that only happens a couple of times a month though. She said she doesn’t get a ton of requests for that. Howard said that kind of money could pay the rent. Destiny said it definitely does.

Howard asked what other things guys ask for her to shove up there. She said that he’d be amazed. She also does double penetration things. Howard said that he just had a colonoscopy so he knows what that must be like. Destiny said she’s never had anything come out when she has put things in there.

Howard asked Destiny about how she got started doing other girls. She said that they started in high school and it just kind of happened on prom night. She said that they ended up leaving their guys to do things with each other. She said that they didn’t even do the guys they went to prom with. Destiny said they started out making out. Destiny said this was her best friend and they were just messing around and the other girl just went down on her and it was amazing.

Howard asked for details about what they did. Destiny said the whole thing was weird. She said they were just changing and they started kissing. She said they ripped off their PJs and got into it. Howard asked how long she spent on her boobs. She said it lasted like an hour. She said they took their time.

Howard asked how long she spends on the boobs alone. She said that she started there but then went down her panties and the whole thing was unplanned but it was great. Destiny said that the other girl went down on her and licked her. Destiny said that she went down on the other girl after she was done. She said they took care of each other. Howard asked if she licked her taint. She didn’t but she does that to her boyfriend.

Destiny said that she always brings other girls into the bedroom with her boyfriend. She said that she gets turned on seeing him with another woman. Howard said she sounds like a great girlfriend. Howard asked what this guy does. She said that he’s her riding partner and he does the motorcycle stunts with her.

Howard asked who the girl was that she brought along with her. Destiny said she’s just a friend. Howard asked if she’s gotten it on with her yet. She said she hasn’t yet.

Howard asked Destiny if her parents are okay with this. She said that her mom is cool with it but her dad doesn’t like to bring it up. She said that her mom is happy that she’s happy doing what she’s doing.

Howard gave Destiny a plug for her web site DestinyDixon.com. You can also see her on HowardTV.com.

Howard asked Destiny if she would try out the Sybian. She said she would because she’s never tried it. Howard asked her to describe what she’s feeling inside while it’s happening. He said that even if she’s feeling nothing, eh wants the truth. Destiny said she could do that.

Howard had Destiny go over to the Sybian and noticed that she was fully shaved. Gange gave her a ”Wow!” when he saw that. Howard saw that she was pierced down below too. She said that it helps get her off.

Gange said that Gary was refusing to put on his mask. Gary said he’s been looking around lately and he thinks that Gange should be wearing one too. Gary said that he’s not the ugliest guy in the room. Howard said it’s because he’s standing right next to her so that’s why he has to wear one.

Howard told Destiny to ask for more juice if she wants more power. He had Gary start her out. Destiny said her whole body was vibrating. She said that her face was even vibrating. Howard had Gary jack it up to 40 percent power. Destiny said it was starting to feel good. She asked for more juice. Gary brought it up to 60 percent and Destiny said that was feeling good. She said that she was feeling that throbbing feeling down there. Destiny said that she was being vibrated so hard. She said it really did feel good. She asked for more juice. Gary brought it up some more so Howard told Gary to just bring it up to 100 percent. Destiny said it felt good. She said it felt awesome and said she felt like she was being raped by that thing. She asked how anyone could not enjoy it. She started to breathe heavy and said she wasn’t expecting that. Destiny just stayed on it until she finished. Howard asked if she was at 100 percent. Gary confirmed she was. Destiny moaned and grunted for a short time and said she was going to cum. She was done a short time later. She said that thing was ”so fucking amazing.” She jumped off the thing when she was done. She said it was just too much. she said that’s her new best friend. Howard said he’s going to do that to a woman some day. Destiny was shaking from it. Robin said she thought she might be too uptight but then realized that she does it all the time.

Gary said he’s noticed that it starts out comical for some women but then it gets really serious. He said he saw that happen with her. Howard said he was proud to have her as a Miss Howard TV. Gary wondered if Fred Schneider heard that. Howard said eh must be into that.

Howard gave Destiny some more plugs and took a call from a guy who said this was clearly the best Sybian ride so far. He asked for the piece of the Sybian she sat on. Howard said that it’s going to be great to watch on Howard TV.

Mariann from Brooklyn called in and welcomed Howard back. She said that Simon is treating him like shit after he treated them so well on his show. She told him that he’s too good for that show. Howard said he knows that and hung up on Mariann.

Howard took another call from a guy who said ti was the best Sybian ride ever. Howard said that’s high praise coming from his audience who slams him for everything he does. Howard asked Destiny if Gary or Gange creeped her out the most. She said it was a tie.

Howard took another call from a guy who asked when that video is going to be up on Howard TV. Gange said it should be up by Midnight tomorrow. They went to break after that.

Free Tour

Fred Schneider From The B-52s Visits. 02/22/10. 8:30am
During the break Howard was doing a commercial for AshleyMadison.com and confirmed that the Tiger Woods Mistress Beauty Pageant is happening in the middle of March. They have 4 of Tiger’s mistresses lined up for the contest so far.
After the break we heard a prank call that Sal and Richard made to a catering service asking for some food for a funeral. Fred also played Led Zeppelin’s ”Misty Mountain Top” as they were coming back from break.

Howard came back and sang along to the Zeppelin song a little bit. He said they should be playing some Love Shack in honor of their next guest. Fred played some of that for Howard. Howard said that Fred Schneider from the B-52s was coming in.

Howard had the guys bring in Fred after that. Howard told Fred about how he wouldn’t have been accepted on Idol if he was a contestant. Howard said that’s why they need a judge like him on the show. He said he won’t boot people just for being different. Howard said they need him on that show.

Howard found out that Fred is friends with Yoko Ono so he asked about that. Fred said Yoko has done some stuff with them on stage and he loves it. Howard said that’s great as long as he loves it. Fred said he owns all of her albums.

Howard told Fred that Gary once saw him out shopping one day and he must have bought about 400 albums. Gary said ti was a used record store. Fred said he has walls of records. Eh said he buys albums like that all the time. Some of the stuff he has will never be out on CD so he likes to have it on vinyl. Fred said he spends most of the day listening to music. He said he writes and listens to music almost all day long.

Howard asked Fred about when he came out of the closet. Fred said he knew he was gay but he didn’t know what gay was back then. He said he grew up in New Jersey and he didn’t know what it was. He said it just came naturally to him. He said that he finally came out to his mother while she was vacuum cleaning and she said ”Oh I knew Freddy.” He said that he figured he’s just go back out and smoke pot after that. Fred said his father passed away when he was 18 so he never knew or maybe he knew and just never discussed it.

Howard asked Fred if he knew he wanted to get into music. Fred said he wanted to learn to play the drums so his father made him learn to play the trumpet first. He said he likes Miles Davis but he didn’t want to be a trumpeter. Howard said his parents got him into clarinet when he was a kid. He said he didn’t want to play that thing.

Fred said when he was in school someone made up a rumor about him screwing around with a neighbor kid and that was tough for him. He said it was like torture when eh was growing up. Howard asked if he had any friends. Fred said he did have a lot of friends. He said one guy insulted his mother so he punched that guy out cold. He said that stopped a lot of the bullying.

Howard asked Fred if he dated girls in school. Fred said he did date them but there was no interest there. He said he never had sex with them. Howard found out that Fred’s idol was Soupy Sales so Howard told him that he was his idol too. Fred said he got to meet him but he was already sick at the time. Fred said he used to watch Soupy and Zacherly. Howard did his Zacherly impression and said that was some show.

Howard told Fred about working with soupy at WNBC and how bad things got between them for a while. He didn’t want to get into all of the details about that though.

Howard asked Fred about how he got into the music thing. Fred said he used to love writing poetry and parodies of movies. He said that they would write movies starring his family and friends.

Howard asked if he was the leader of the B-52s. Fred said that he and some friends went to a restaurant and a friend’s house and they went downstairs and they came up with the name Killer Bees because they had just arrived in Brazil around that time. Fred said that he was a bus boy or a waiter before that. EH said that he was also a meals on wheels delivery guy for a while.

Howard asked Fred if it was great to become a great rock star to rub it in people’s faces. Fred said that there were people who thought that he’d never be anything and he has proven them wrong. Howard said his mother must love that. Fred said she loves it and she even signs autographs at shows.

Robin asked how he ended up down south in Georgia. Fred said he wanted to get away from New Jersey so he moved down there to study forestry. He said they were across the street from the chicken farms and they were down wind from that so he changed courses and took some creative writing courses.

Howard asked Fred how they came up with the B-52s name. Fred said they were jamming and they were asked what the name of the band was going to be. Fred said they came up with B-52s based on the hair styles they had at the time since they looked like nose cones.

Howard asked if they all wrote the songs together. Fred said they all did. Howard said that you almost have to be mentally ill to risk your life trying to become a rock star. Fred said that down in Athens’s it was very cheap to live so you didn’t have to work too hard.

Howard said that people must have thrown things at them when they would play their music at some of the shows they were doing. Fred said they were very open down there to their music so it wasn’t that bad.

Howard said that their first hit was ”Rock Lobster” and played some of that. Fred said that was an independent release they did. Howard asked how many record companies turned them down. Fred said that they didn’t get turned down that much actually. Fred said they were asked to play a public show in front of about 17 people and it was on a Monday night in December. They got paid like $51 to play that show. Fred said they thought that was going to be it and never even thought to ask if they wanted them to come back.

Fred said they sent their song out to record stations and then started playing some clubs and they built up a following. Fred said that things snowballed and they still went broke. Fred said he was ripped off but he ended up getting everything back. He said that came later on though.

Howard asked if they made money touring. Fred said they did after they made Cosmic Thing. Howard asked if he had a lot of sex and drugs. Fred said he had a lot of pot. He said that the other stuff wasn’t for him. He said even the pot was getting too strong for him.

Howard asked Fred if he’s in a relationship. Fred said he has been in a relationship for a long time. He said their fans don’t want to have sex with them anyway. He said they just want to be their friends. Howard said he was feeling something between them.

Howard asked Fred why they’re not in the Rock and Roll Hall Of Fame. Fred said that he’s not sure because they’ve influenced a lot more people than many of the other bands. Howard said that John Lennon once said he was inspired to record more songs after hearing ”Rock Lobster.” Fred said that they actually did record more after that.

Howard asked Fred what happened with him and SIRIUS. Fred said that they had some budget cuts there and they had to let him go. He said he was really into his show and he had a guest every week that turned out to be Madison every week. Fred said he wrote all of his copy and he was buying all of the records that he was playing. He said that he was buying records for 10 cents each. He said he would play things that aren’t out on CD. Fred said that he wasn’t even that expensive but they told him they weren’t going to renew his contract there.

Howard asked Fred who wrote Rock Lobster. Fred said he wrote the lyrics but they’ve all written songs and they all share it equally and that’s what makes it work. He said that they take turns doing things. Fred said he doesn’t have enough money to retire but he’s comfortable. He said they’re still together as a group. They don’t have a publicist though. He said they can’t afford that. Fred said they do 50-60 shows a year and they have a live album they’re mixing now.

Fred told Howard how tough things are now in the music industry. He said that they have a good fan base so they can go out and tour a lot. They’re able to survive doing that since music gets released for free out there these days.

Howard asked Fred what’s going on with the rest of the band. Fred filled him in on what everyone is up to. Howard asked why he started this new band. Fred said he turned some people on to lounge music and tiki music and that’s what he likes to listen to. He said that the band is called The Superions. Howard asked how many people are in the band. Fred said it’s 3 people but it’s all electronic stuff.

Howard played some of the new music from The Superions and Fred said that it’s all tongue in cheek stuff. Howard gave him some plugs for the new album and said that you can get more info at Myspace.com/TheSuperions.

Howard told Fred that he does some Avant Garde music himself. He told Fred (Norris) to find him some of that stuff to play for Fred. He wasn’t able to find it in the system very quickly. Howard said that Fred might be the only guy to understand the music. Gary came in and said that he had it available on his preview page.

Howard played the song called ”Home” that he and the guys recorded several years ago. Fred said he actually liked it. Howard said it’s about time he found someone who understands his music. Fred told him to put it out on Amazon and he’d have it up there in a minute. Howard played some of ”Home 2” and some other songs that they created. Fred said he’s heard records like that and they’re serious.

Howard asked Fred where he lives now. Fred said he lives in New York City and out on Long Island. Howard said he’s proud of him. Fred said he’s proud of his music and he wanted a copy. He said that sounded like him on the trumpet playing in the song.

Howard gave Fred some plugs for the new album and Fred said that they have a vinyl version coming out soon. Howard said he didn’t even know people were still playing vinyl. Fred said that a lot of kids are buying vinyl these days. They went to break a short time later.


Tiger Woods Press Conference Discussions. 02/22/10. 9:15am
After the break we heard a Black History Month minute about Lexington Steel. Fred played some Red Hot Chili Peppers ”Give It Away” as they were coming back.
Howard came back and sang along to the song for a short time. He wondered what happened to that band. Robin said she thinks they’re still around. Howard said they probably made a bunch of dough and they just hang out in Hawaii now or something. Howard said it should have been ”Give it away Hey Now” and had Fred playing ”Hey Now” clips during the song.

Robin said something about moving to Hawaii and becoming a photographer and that led to Howard going off on photographers that think that they’re ”artists” when they’re not doing anything that hard.

Howard said he saw the Tiger Woods press conference the other day. He said Tiger is a big wiener. He said that they kept him away from the press so he wasn’t even in the same room with them. He said it looked like Tiger didn’t want to be a part of the whole thing. He said it was weird that the camera went out at one point. He said it appears he didn’t bother rehearsing the reading before he did it.

Howard said he’s not sure why the wife is staying with Tiger. Robin said that Tiger is living in rehab right now so they’re not even living together. Howard said Tiger’s mother was sitting in the front row and she looked like she wanted to vomit. Howard said that he expected Tiger to break out and say that the reason he hates women so much is because of that look on her face. Howard said he’s probably paying his mother’s rent and she’s giving him that look. Howard said that’s the face Tiger has to see when he fucks any of those bimbo’s. Robin asked what she’s supposed to look like. Howard said she should smile. Robin didn’t think that was right.

Howard said meanwhile Tiger’s parents had him playing golf every minute of his childhood. He’s got to be angry about that. Robin said that he did say that during the press conference. He said that he went out to have some fun after working so hard his whole life.

Howard said Tiger may not have ever gone to school because he wasn’t able to read the notes he had. Howard said that all of these women are fighting over his money and he must think he’s King Tut. Howard said he must see that he’s no beauty.

Howard said that mother’s look on her face was something else. He said that she was looking at him like he had fucked everything up. Howard said she looks like a vomit. He said that Tiger should throw her out of the house he bought her.

Howard went off on Tiger for fucking everything up. He said he had it made and people were begging to give him money to sponsor him.

Howard played some of the press conference and said that Tiger didn’t need notes to make a speech. He said he should have just come out and spoken like a normal person. Howard gave Tiger some suggestions on what he should have done in the speech. He said he didn’t need to bring up the Buddhism thing. Howard said that he probably lies about everything anyway.

Howard played the clip where Tiger talked about the Buddhism thing. Tiger said his mother taught him that when he was a young boy.

Howard said that some of the mistresses got together and said they wanted an apology form him too. Howard said maybe they should be apologizing to Tiger’s family for sleeping with a married man. Howard said that they knew he was married.

Howard played more of the Buddhist clips and goofed on Tiger for a few more minutes about all of that stuff. Howard did an impression of what Tiger could have said in the speech. He said that could have been some speech if he had done it the way he was thinking he could have.

Howard played more of the press conference and goofed on the way Tiger was reading. He was having trouble getting through the speech. Howard was doing an impression of his wife going off on Tiger too. He ended up slipping into a Kennedy impression during that. He did that for a couple of minutes.

Howard and Robin were talking about the stuff Tiger was mentioning in the press conference. Howard would play a few seconds of Tiger and then go off on him. He was making fun of the monotone read he was doing and saying that his writing wasn’t all that great and it was kind of like a Bar Mitzvah speech.

Howard did some Bar Mitzvah speeches and goofed on the whole idea. He said that he wasted his time learning that wacky religion and the kooky language.

Howard said that Tiger should be more like Larry King and not be so ashamed of what he did. He said that he should kick his mother out of the room too. He did an impression of Tiger’s mother that sounded oddly like his own mother. They had to go to break a short time later.


Zinio.com. Your choice — read online from any computer or choose to download and read offline, too.


Howard 100 News And Wrap Up Show Previews. 02/22/10. 10:00am
After the break Howard came right back. He said while they were gone they announced that Kevin Eubanks is leaving The Tonight Show. Howard said he’s going to start off with Jay when he returns to the 11:30 time slot. Howard said he thinks that Kevin is tired of Jay and the way the whole thing went down. Howard said Kevin may not want to be Jay’s stooge anymore. Robin said that Jay can play out his next debacle without Kevin.
Howard said he thinks that Kevin was into his 17th year of fake laughing and it was causing bleeding. He said the vomit got to be too much for him.

Robin said she read some headlines about the show and she thought Stuttering John was gone but they were just saying he’s not returning to the announcer’s spot. Robin said maybe they should go back to all of the original elements though.

Howard had Steve Langford come in with his news preview. Steve said they have a story about Robin going to Santa Monica during vacation. A staffer there saw robin out there. Robin said the story sounded funny to her.

Steve said a fan saw Stuttering John in an airport and he was alone and looking kind of sad and disheveled. Fred said that’s his typical look.

Steve said that a lawsuit against the Kinison estate has been settled. Sam’s wife Malika had filed suit saying that Sam’s brother Bill had forged some documents. Details of the settlement were not released.

Steve said that Tracey Millman is hosting another edition of her show tonight on Howard 101 at 7pm. Steve also got in some plugs for Greg Fitzsimmons show which is on at Midnight tonight.

Jon Hein came in with his Wrap Up Show preview next. Jon ran down some of the things they were going to discuss today and mentioned Fred Schneider liking the Avant Garde music they played today. Howard said Fred reminds him of DJ Meg Griffin. He said that Fred is like the male version of Meg with the way he likes that wacky music he listens to. They played some of the Mrs. Miller stuff they were talking about in that interview. Howard said they should put out some Ed Torian or Underdog Lady music. Jon finished up his Wrap Up Show preview after that.

Robin’s News. 02/22/10. 10:15am
Howard played Robin in with a Bleeding Deacons song parody. Howard said that they had a bunch of new ones to play too. Fred played one but that wasn’t what Howard wanted to play. He played some of the clips he had from Gary. Little Mikey had a new one in there. Howard played that one and said that guy Little Mikey is a good singer. Robin said she got used to not hearing them and they’re a little harsh to hear now that she’s back to work. Howard played a couple more songs that Little Mikey sent in. He had a bunch of new ones.
Howard had Robin get to her news. Robin said that they have renamed a mountain in California from Negro head Mountain to Ballard Mountain. Howard said he didn’t think that the name Negro head was that bad. Robin said it was even more vulgar than that originally.

Robin read about Conan O’Brien and how he’s got to sit out for a while before going back to work. He’s now thinking about going out on a tour. Howard said he did some of that when he was starting out but it was the biggest mistake. Howard said he hated that.

Howard said there was a guy at the Knick game the other night and Gary was there. Gary was picking his nose at the game and this guy had a picture of it. Gary said he hasn’t been to a Knick game in forever. Howard wondered where the picture came from then. Gary said he was at a college basketball game up in Connecticut. Howard asked Gary why he would do that at a game. Gary said he wasn’t even thinking. Howard said he never has his thumb up his nose in pictures. Gary said he didn’t even realize he was doing it.

Howard said Gary was there with his kids too. He showed Robin the picture but she wasn’t able to see it very well. Howard said she’d vomit if she saw it. Howard said Gary looked so angry picking it out of there too. Howard showed Robin the picture larger and she let out an ”Ohhh!” when she saw it. Howard said they used the booger as a basketball once he got it out. Gary said there were maybe 80 people in the whole arena when he did that.

Robin got back to her news and read some stuff about the Tiger Woods press conference. She said the mistresses were commenting on the whole thing and now the PGA commissioner is taking the blame for the timing of the speech.

Howard said he saw Ross Zapin out there with Gary. He said he and Ross went out on Friday night right when they went on vacation. He said that Robin’s boyfriend Benicio joined them at dinner. Howard said they had a little dinner with him. Howard said Ross has known him for a long time. Ross knows him through a friend.

Howard said Beth came out to dinner with them even though it was a boy’s night out kind of thing. Gary said that Howard is ”that guy” who brings the wife out on a boy’s night out. Howard said he had to go home anyway so he had her stop by to say hello. Howard said she had never met Benicio before so he had her stop by. Howard said he and the guys all split the bill. He said Ross isn’t used to that.

Howard said they went up to the Boom Boom room together. No one was there though. Howard said Benicio got into a fight with a guy in front of him. He said that Benicio wanted to smoke a cigarette and ended up arguing with the waiter. He said Benicio is a handful. He said he was going to light up in front of the guy. Howard asked how the Wolfman did. Ross said it did $37 million the first weekend so it did good. Howard said that Benicio ended up putting out his cigarette because there are strict laws there in New York. He said he thought he was going to break out into a fight. Howard said Ross went to the bathroom and he thought Benicio was going to get into a fight. He said he wasn’t going to have his back if he had.

Robin got back to her news and read some more about the Tiger Woods press conference. She went through some of the stuff he brought up during that press conference.

Robin read some news about the Olympics and how a luge runner had died on the course. Robin said that she didn’t realize that they do as much as they do on those things. She said that the guy ended up hitting a big metal pole when he flew off the course. Robin read about the mother of one of the Olympian’s dying while visiting Vancouver. Howard said he was sorry to hear that.

Robin read about a woman who was hit by a tire at Firebird International Raceway and killed over the weekend.

Howard did a quick live commercial for AshleyMadison.com during the news. He was promoting the upcoming Tiger Woods Mistress Beauty Pageant.

Robin got back to her news and read about a fashion designer who killed himself. She said he was found in an Armoire after he hanged himself. Robin said his mother died and he was found dead four days after that. Howard said the guy was quite a genius from what Beth told him.

Robin read about the guy who flew his plane into an IRS building while they were on vacation. Robin read the details about the guy burning down his home and flying his plane into the building. Robin said she’s not sure what the death toll was. Howard said it was a couple of people from what he read. Robin didn’t have the details. Robin had the wrong details about the guy who flew his plane into the building. She was reading about another guy who had bulldozed his house and got them confused. Robin read that this guy Joe Stack was saying that nothing changes unless there’s a body count so that’s why he flew the plane into the building.

Robin said they’re looking for this guy Andrew Koenig who played Boner on Growing Pains. Howard said he’s the son of Walter Koenig. He said he didn’t know that. The guy has been missing since the 16th of February. Robin said friends have been posting pictures and stories on Twitter trying to find more information. Robin said that he hasn’t been seen since and people are worried.

Howard said he digs that Walter Koenig guy. He said he was on Star Trek and he liked him on Battlestar Galactica too. Howard said they had him on the radio show too. Howard said he didn’t know that his son played Boner.

Robin read some news about Glenn Beck who was talking about being a recovering alcoholic at this conference he was at. Robin had some clips from that speech and Howard sarcastically said that sounds like a real fun event.

Howard had some audio from that event where someone else was talking about being against gays being invited to the event and he was getting booed by a bunch of people in the audience.

Robin went through a bunch of other stories and had some audio clips to play from various things that were going on.

Howard found out that Fred went to see Avatar in 2D instead of 3D. Fred can’t see 3D stuff so he brought his wife to see it there. Fred said that the glasses don’t do anything for him and he preferred to see it in 2D. Howard thought that was wrong for him to make his wife see it in 2D. Howard said that the 3D is the coolest part of the movie. Fred said he doesn’t think that the film should win an award for the movie itself but maybe for the technical aspects of it.

Robin read that James Cameron and his ex-wife are both nominated for their movies in the Academy Awards this year. Robin said the wife seems to be winning the preliminary awards.

Robin said that tonight’s episode of CSI Miami was directed by Rob Zombie and they’re saying it’s edgier than usual and getting good reviews.

Robin said that Pete Townshend is having trouble with his hearing and he may have to stop doing shows. She said that The Who may be done.

Robin read about the new movie ”The Crazies” and had some audio clips from some of the stars of the movie. Howard didn’t last long during those. Robin had some Shutter Island box office results. She said that it pulled in $40 million this weekend. She had some audio of Sir Ben Kingsley talking about working with Leonardo DiCaprio. Howard didn’t make it through more than 15 seconds of that before cutting it off. Howard said the studios spend tons of money recording this crap and no one plays the clips other than them and they goof on them. Howard tried to figure out what the hell Kingsley was talking about in the clip and he had no clue what it was about.

Robin said that Angelina Jolie and her dad have reconciled again. Howard said they’re wacky. He said they’re constantly making up and fighting. Robin said they were photographed together walking the kids and Brad Pitt around in Venice. They ended the show a short time later, right around 11:00am.

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