After the break, Howard said he has audio of a guy bashing him on Joe Rogan’s podcast. Howard said that the guy is angry at him for saying that podcasts are bullshit. Howard said that the guy is hurt that he said they’re no good. Howard said they’re fine if you want to make them. Howard said if you want to make money you have to put yourself to the test. Howard said if you want to be a comedian you have to go to a club. He said you can do it in your bedroom but if you want to make money you have to go out and do it. Howard said you have to go on terrestrial radio to have a radio career. Howard said this guy was pissing and moaning because he’s 41 and he has no life. Howard said Joe was being nice to him and said ”Howard is a great broadcaster…” and stuff like that. Howard said he’s learned a lot in his career. He said that you have to start out in a small market and go from there. Howard said everyone has a podcast and no one knows how to broadcast.
Howard said the only way you can be a comic is if you go to a club and make people laugh. Howard said if you sit in your room and do a podcast you’re pretending to be a broadcaster. Howard said this guy was saying that he’s old now. Howard said that’s fine but this guy is 41 and no one knows who he is. Howard said no one is going to hear this guy. Howard said it’s like hearing a street performing giving advice to Paul McCartney. Howard said that people hate to hear the truth. Howard said they hate to work. Howard said they want to go in a room and make up a broadcast. Howard said podcasts are fun. He said that’s fine. He said you can put them on your website so no one can hear it. Howard said he should have this guy on and just yell at him.
Howard asked Gary what the guy’s name is. Gary said it’s Ari Shaffir. Howard said this guy is on yelling about how old he is and meanwhile he’s 41 and no one knows how he is. Howard said he must do stand up on his podcasts so he doesn’t have to go to a club. Robin asked why he cares what his opinion is. Howard said the guy was saying that AGT is bullshit too. Howard said maybe he should go on there to get some notoriety. Howard said the guy is a douche bag.
Howard said when he gets the tape he’ll play it for Robin. Howard said you’d think he was Jerry Seinfeld or Chris Rock or something. Howard said the guy hasn’t figured it out. Howard said Ari was saying that he is calling everyone with a podcast a loser. Howard said he is. He said it’s fine to have fun with a podcast but you’re not making money doing it. Howard said Rush Limbaugh put himself on a station and waited for the ratings to come in. Howard said that’s the scariest thing to do. Howard said this guy was saying that he has to learn to talk up a radio. Howard said he didn’t say that. He said he will never have to do that because he’ll never be a broadcaster. Howard said this is how it worked when he started and that’s how it works today.
Howard said this is such a stupid argument. Howard had some clips from the Joe Rogan podcast. Ari was saying that Howard says that podcasts are for losers. Howard said he never said that. He said he’s just calling this guy a loser. He said he’d probably reach more people yelling out his window. Ari said something about Howard saying you have to know how to bring it to an ”act break.” Howard said he never said that. Robin said Howard was talking to Elisa about trying to jump-start her career. Howard said the only way you can have a career, making money, is to do it professionally. Howard said this guy is 41 years old and he’s never heard of him until now. Howard said he can podcast all he wants. He said there are only a handful of guys who have gotten the audience he has. Howard said he has millions of people listening to him. He said making money must be old fashioned too. Howard said this guy can just go talk into his digital recorder.
Howard played a clip of Ari talking about how Adam Carolla shouldn’t be in podcasting. Howard said, of course, he doesn’t. Ari said Howard is commenting on things he doesn’t know about. Joe Rogan was saying that he thinks Howard was fucking with people. Ari said that AGT is a garbage show too. Howard asked what show Ari is on. Howard said he’d like to know what show he’s on. Howard said he’d love to see this guy’s stand up. He said he’d like to see if he places in the top 5. Howard said he hopes everyone does podcasts. Howard said that would leave him at number 1.
Howard said Elisa is trying to get into it now. Benjy said she’s making money already. Howard said that’s good but he’s not talking to him now. He said he’ll get to him later. Howard said if she made money it’s because of his audience. Howard said if Ari makes money it’s because he’s bringing him attention. Howard said he hopes Ari makes money doing it too. Howard said he has no animosity toward him. Howard said he has had a 40-something year career and people still listen to him. Howard said he’s so irrelevant that people still listen to him. Howard said at 40 he was syndicated across the country and he was the most successful broadcaster in the world. Howard said at 41 Ari is yelling at him on a podcast. He said no one knows how he is and no one goes to see his comedy. Howard said his advice is right because he must think that it’s good to stay at home and do comedy. Howard said he can sit home pretending he’s broadcasting.
Howard said this guy sounds ignorant. Howard said he just got word that Madonna cancelled and wants to do the Ari podcast. Howard said the podcasters all do each other’s podcasts. Howard said if he were Ari he’d end it and go into selling shoes. Howard said he’d do something else if he was 41 and no one knew his name in stand up. Howard said no one knows who he is. Howard said on his next podcast he’s going to give Letterman advice on what to do. Howard said Letterman wasted all of his time with his show. Howard said it’s so old-fashioned making money doing your job. Howard said that’s what he’s talking about.
Howard took a call from a guy and said he hopes he’s not boring him. Howard said that he is looking forward to talking to Madonna today. He said she had to go out and beg people to play her records. The caller said he could do a podcast right now. He said he could record it in his room. Howard said Ari says you don’t have to do it in public. Howard said the only way to do it professionally is to go out and do it on real radio. Howard said he invites Ari in to argue to his face. Howard said at least Joe looked at him like he was bizarre. The caller said Joe is a good comedian. Howard said Joe has been on TV and he’s done stand up. He said he has put out records and goes on tour in front of people. The caller said that if Howard did a podcast it would be different. Howard said he has an audience so it’s a different thing. Howard said there isn’t a way to get an audience if you don’t do it on radio first. Howard said he just got word that Ari is doing a special show on CB radio for those who have it.
Howard took a call from a guy who said that Ari was talking shit about Adam Carolla too. Howard said Adam had a following. He said Adam followed the model that he’s talking about. Howard said he was tested and had to go in front of an audience. The caller said Ari is a piece of shit. Howard said he’s not going to go that far. He said he’d be frustrated if he was 41 and he’s in a business where no one knows his name. Howard said he knows a ton of guys like that in radio. He said they gave it their best try and no one knows who they are.
Howard said he gets podcasts. He said if he wants to learn about playing chess he can do that. He said there are 7 people listening and that’s fine. Howard said maybe Ari is a funny guy. Probably not but maybe. Robin said he has put out a couple of movies and he’s been on Comedy Central. Howard said he’s lighting the world on fire. Howard said go see him. Robin said he is confused about what Howard was saying. Howard said he can listen back to this and go on Joe’s show again. He guarantees Joe has more listeners than Ari does.
The Howard Stern September 11, 2001, Broadcast. Everyone should hear this show but it can be difficult to listen to. A lot of speculation and emotion as news was breaking. The full video of the broadcast can be found here:
2:18:00: Gary interrupts banter about Pam Anderson to report that a plane has hit the World Trade Center. No one hints at the severity of what is to come.
2:19:00: Howard jokes about feeling like Dan Rather, imitating a news anchor throwing it to a correspondent in the field.
2:19:30: Gary wonders out loud if terrorism is a possibility.
2:21:00: Crew resumes its discussion of Pam Anderson.
2:25:00: Just eight minutes after Stern listeners were made aware of the first attack, it’s reported that a second plane has crashed into the World Trade Center. Now there is no doubt: this is terrorism.
2:28:00: An angry Stern says, “I can’t say it, but I know who it is. They’re doing it over here now.” He is certain it’s a suicide mission by Islamic fundamentalists.
2:29:00: Stern says, “We are at war. But who are we at war with?”
2:31:00: Someone on the line thinks all the “towelheads” should be “thrown out of the country.”
2:33:00: A caller interjects a bit about Pam Anderson. His statement is dismissed.
2:34:00: Stern is the first to mention the name Bin Laden. The shock jock is ahead of so many on the thinking curve this morning.
2:59:00: It’s reported that a plane has crashed into the Pentagon.
3:09:00: Stern laments that not enough has been done to stop this shit and, in the process, calls France a bunch of “fakes.”
3:11:00: Stern tells Robin that her driver is leaving and “doesn’t care how she gets home.” It’s meant to add a shred of levity. No one is really sure whether they should leave anyway. Howard thinks out loud on several occasions about whether he should still be doing the show. The general manager assures him that the show is providing a service for everyone around the country listening through syndication. It’s giving callers a chance to talk about it.
3:13:00: Wack Pack member High-Pitch Eric calls in with his reactions. I have to admit I kinda laughed. That voice, man. He always sounds panicked anyway.
3:13:30: The south tower of the World Trade Center collapses.
3:43:00: The north tower of the World Trade Center collapses.
3:44:00: Someone asks, “What have we done to deserve this?”
4:03:00: Howard says that this is different than Vietnam, that he would enlist in a second. A caller says, “I’m right behind you.” I am reminded of a similar sentiment expressed by then Mets manager Bobby Valentine.
4:03:30: Gary wonders how he’ll explain this to his son.
In between there are erroneous reports about the planes: how many are missing, how big they are, where they left from and where they’re headed. The pieces fit now, but the audio file is a historic reminder of how long it took to glue them together, and the emotions we experienced during the mass confusion. It was, of course, the day of the unthinkable. No words on this page capture the human element of 9/11 as accurately as the audio file does.