Russell Brand

Howard came back and had Russell Brand come in. Robin wondered how many times he had been on the show. Russell said it’s been twice. Howard said his wife thought that he dresses the way he does as a joke but Russell said that’s not the case. He said that he’s accentuating his sex organs.

Howard said he’s kind of a legendary cocksman. He said he was watching Russell when he started dating Katy Perry and he’s not sure if it’s going to last. Russell said that he’s pretty sure that it will last or he wouldn’t get married. Russell said that there is no chance of him having sex with Robin now that he’s getting married.

Howard asked Russell how he met Katy. Russell said that they were doing a scene in a movie together which is this movie he’s in to promote today. He said that they did this kissing scene and they stood on this balcony alone to practice and Katy just leaned in and they kissed each other. He said it was an unnecessary rehearsals but that’s what got the whole thing started.

Howard said that Russell was banging multiple chicks a day before that. Russell had guys picking women out for him. Russell said they had other jobs too. Russell said he had a lot of sexual energy to get out.

Howard said Russell must have figured he had the right to bang chicks and leave them crippled in his path. Russell said he tried not to cripple anyone. He said he wasn’t going around saying he was going to fuck their spines out. He said he would have called the medics if he knew he was going to paralyze them.

Howard asked Russell about how his buddies would go out and pick out the cute chicks for him. Russell said one of his guys is there today actually and he was very good at doing that job. Howard asked Russell if he was using the girls and the girls were using him so they both knew what they were getting into it. Russell said that is the way it was. He said orgasms were guaranteed.

Howard asked Russell about the way he was flirting with Katy at the MTV Video Music Awards the year after that scene on the movie set. Russell said he started to feel a bit lonely after banging all of these chicks. He said that it was one new chick after anther so he couldn’t carry on a conversation that he had the night before.

Howard said Katy is really cute and he understands the attraction but he wonders if he’s dating her because she is Katy Perry.

Russell told Howard that he was rehearsing for the show around that time and in the midst of the whole thing a bottle struck him on the head during rehearsal. He looked over and saw Katy standing there. He said she came on and was rude to him. He said his mates were laughing at her and he started to feel ill or something. He said that she was rehearsing too and she was still good even though she was doing it half hearted. He said she was being a smart ass and he loved it. Russell said that he joked about her as she was rehearsing too. He said she gave him a bracelet during rehearsal and she didn’t want it back because she wanted him to remember her. He said he didn’t need anything to remember her. He said that’s how all of this got started.

Howard asked who is worth more money. Russell said it’s got to be her. Howard asked if he’s banking on her being the money maker. Russell said he’s not planning on having a mediocre career himself. Howard said he does have a lot going on. He said he’s got 7 movies in the works. He’s working on a remake of the movie ”Arthur” and he has Helen Mirren playing his butler.

Howard asked Russell about some of Katy’s friends like Rihanna and Jay-Z. Howard wondered if his bachelor party is going to be thrown by Jay-Z. Russell said he’s pretty sure that won’t happen. He said that his bachelor party will probably be more mellow than that.

Howard asked Russell if he went out with Katy the first night she asked him out. He said he didn’t go with her. He didn’t want to be out of control of the evening so he asked her to go out to dinner the next night. Russell said she looked amazing that night they went out. Russell said he wore one of his belly shirts that night. Howard asked Russell if there were a lot of photographers out that night. Russell said there really weren’t.

Howard asked where they went after dinner. Russell said that they just went home after a kiss. He said they just kissed. He said that was very odd for him. Howard asked if he went for the tittie. Russell said he was filled with confusing feelings so he didn’t go for that. He said he was very confused. Russell said that he had this weird feeling for her and he didn’t know what to do.

Russell told Howard that he almost yelled out ”I love you!” to her on that first date. He said that’s the way he was feeling that night. He said he knew that he was going to marry her that night. Howard asked if he was doubting himself thinking it was just a crazy thought he was having. He has OCD so it could have had to do with that. Russell said that he does have that but he’s doing Transcendental Meditation now and that’s helping. He said that’s a great thing. Howard said he’s been doing TM for 36 years and that’s helped him too. Russell said he thinks that it’s helped him out with women too.

Howard asked Russell how long it took to get into Katy’s pants. Russell said now that he cares so much for her that he’s not sure he wants to give out that information. He said that it was a few weeks before they got together again. Russell said Katy called him up and told him that she was going on vacation to Thailand. He said meanwhile he was writing her letters and getting all romantic with her. He said he wrote on parchment with a feather. Russell said that there was this thing where she was making a music video in a fountain and meanwhile he was in a prison filming a movie with a rapist.

Howard asked what the love poems were about. Russell said he wrote to her about the video she was in when she was in a fountain. He said that he was telling her about how she was like a mermaid and he was drowning. Howard said he was a pussy for saying that so Russell jokingly took his headphones off and said that was enough.

Howard said he actually likes that he opened up like that. Howard said she could have turned on him and thought he was a pussy. Howard said that she could have thought that his poetry was shit. Russell said he’s English and they’re known for that kind of thing so it wasn’t shit.

Howard said that Katy’s parents are religious people and Russell has that rock star thing going on. Russell said that her parents are actually very lovely people. He said they get along just fine.

Howard asked Russell about why he asked Katy to marry him just 4 months into it. Howard asked if it was the sex. Russell said that they have some kind of spiritual connection. He said he felt this connection to this person and it was something very different for him. He said he likes to have sex with loads and loads of people but now he has someone he can trust. He said in the past if someone hurt him he’d just ask for more women to be brought to him.

Howard asked when he had multiple women before he met Katy. Russell said it was the day before. He said that he had two women. Howard said he heard that she was making out with John Mayer just the day before he met her. Russell said he didn’t know if that was true or not. He thinks that’s just speculation.

Howard asked Russell if he had to be tested before he was with Katy. Russell said he’s a very clean person. He said his nails are clean and showed them to Howard. Howard asked if Katy asked him to wear a rubber that first night. Russell said that was kind of private. He said he’s always been very careful with that kind of thing. He said that the love of this woman is something very special to him.

Howard said that they haven’t really known each other that long. Howard asked if her parents thought it was too soon. Russell said they thought it was a very good thing. Russell said they’re going to get married this year.

Howard told Russell that they have a rough time ahead of them. He said he’s going to be leaving Katy for two months. Russell said he is very busy. Howard asked how he’s going to handle that. He said it’s going to get weird after 2 weeks. Howard said he’s going to get suspicious and he’s going to think she’s going to be having fun without him.

Gary came in and said that Russell had to get going. Howard had to get in some plugs. Howard said he wasn’t doing a good job of that. He said that he’s in ”Get Him To The Greek” which comes out on June 4th. He plays the same character that he played in ”Forgetting Sarah Marshall.” Howard gave him some plugs for the soundtrack album too and for his book which is out in paperback now (My Booky Wook: A Memoir of Sex, Drugs, and Stand-Up).

Howard asked Russell about his OCD before he wrapped up. Russell was also telling him about the video he directed for one of the songs from the soundtrack. Howard threw out a few more quick questions before they dragged Russell out of there. Gary came in and told Howard Russell’s people were flipping out. Howard tried to wrap up again and Russell got in a plug for his web site

Howard kept asking questions and Russell wanted to stay. They kept talking even though his people were freaking out. Howard asked if he would be invited to the wedding. When he said he probably wouldn’t show up Russell said that he’s invited. Howard wrapped up and let him go after that.

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