The Porn Star Pageant – Kacey Jordan.
After the break we heard a prank call Sal and Richard made to Riley Martin where they were acting like aliens. Fred also played Van Halen’s ”Panama” as they were coming back.
Howard came back and started the Porn Star Pageant. They had an opening announcement as they started it. He introduced Howard Stern and Howard said they love pageants on this show. They have a $10,000 prize from Beezid.com. Howard said they have 3 women in today and all 3 of them have slept with Charlie Sheen. Howard said that maybe they didn’t sleep with him but they were in the room with him and maybe they had sex or maybe they didn’t.
Howard said that the first woman in the pageant is Kacey Jordan who was on the show recently. Howard introduced her and said that they’re judging on beauty and personality. Howard talked to Kacey about her appearance on the show where she talked about being with Charlie. Howard said that she was in the paper again this morning. He said they had a picture of her in a bikini on a bed. She said they shot that yesterday. She waned a copy of that. Howard said she can have his copy if she wants. She asked if it was sticky.
Howard said he asked Charlie about why he pays women when he called in earlier in the week. Howard asked Kacey why she thinks he does. She said she really doesn’t know. Kacey said she has a client who likes to give her money and gifts and then tells her to get out. She said it’s like a fetish for that guy so maybe that’s what it’s like for Charlie. Howard said he was reading about how Charlie likes porn girls because he can preview them watching their movies.
Howard asked Kacey if she’s jealous that Bree Olson and that Nat chick are living with Charlie. She said she’s glad that she’s not a part of it. She said she wouldn’t want to watch him die slowly over there. She said they’re going to go down in the ship with him.
Howard asked Kacey if she’s still drinking. She said she took 3 weeks off of drinking but last night she got wasted. Howard said he heard that she was so out of it this morning that she had a hard time getting there. She said she actually had no problem. She’s a pro and she was ready to go.
Howard said he heard that Kacey announced she was pregnant and the baby might have been Charlie’s. She said she got an abortion and didn’t have sex until last night. She said she got the abortion done in Oregon like she told them when she was in last time. Gary said that she told them that she wasn’t having sex but she was having anal.
Howard asked how she discovered she was pregnant. Kacey said she was late and she had cramping. She felt like shit so she thought she might have an STD or something. Then she took a pregnancy test and it turned out positive. She said she doesn’t want to have kids and wants to get her tubes tied. Howard said she could be set for life if she had that baby. Howard asked if she told Charlie about it. Kacey said she didn’t right away. She said that she texted him and told him after he did the Dan Patrick show. She said she didn’t think he sounded very good so she had to talk to him about that.
Howard asked Kacey if she thought about what she said about Charlie in the press since he did pay her 30 grand. She said that she wanted everyone to see how bad he is and now everyone is seeing his gold teeth and how he’s acting lately. She said that it’s all showing now.
Howard asked Kacey if she wants to get back with Charlie. She said she hasn’t spoken to him recently. She said she has chosen to stay out of it for now. Kacey said she did tell him about the baby. She said that he told her to let him know how it all goes. She said he always signs off with XOXO. Howard said it could have been his baby but she may not know. Kacey said that she was with some other guys but not with that many. She said it could have been one of 3. She said the other guy is a celebrity but she won’t say who it was. Kacey said she doesn’t want to get black listed.
Howard asked Kacey if she’s ever gotten arrested for being a party girl. She said she hasn’t. She said they get paid to ”party” so it’s not really prostitution. Kacey told Howard that she fucks her dentist and that was a something that she fantasized about. She said she’s getting $40,000 worth of veneers for free. Howard told her not to get them. He said that they always look so fake. She said they’ll just be nice and white. Howard said they’ll look so fake though.
Howard said Kacey fascinates him. He said that she didn’t ride the Sybian because she was bleeding from her kidneys. Kacey said she isn’t bleeding anymore. She said she took her 3 weeks off from drinking and took her medication and it all cleared up. Howard said she’s only 22 and her kidneys are failing. Robin said it’s not kidney failure, she’s just got a urinary tract infection. Howard said she was peeing blood last time she was there. She said it kind of hurt too. Kacey said she drank a lot last night and some guy was buying her drinks. She said she got shit faced. She didn’t bang the guy or anything.
Howard asked what this dentist fantasy is about. She said that she doesn’t know what it’s about but it’s great. She told Howard that her friend fucked the same dentist. Howard asked how she brings it up to the guy. Kacey said that they went out for drinks after he worked on her. Howard asked how that even comes up. She said he was asking her about his new car and if she liked it. Howard asked where she goes to fuck him. She said she just went to a hotel. She told him to just fuck her ass. She said the whole thing is kind of weird though.
Howard asked if she fucked the dentist last night. She said that was someone else. Howard asked how many times she has to fuck the dentist to get the veneers. She said she doesn’t have to do him after that. She said that she will stop after she gets them. She said he’s very nice so she may fuck him as a courtesy once in a while.
Kacey told Howard she got ”Superman’d” last night. That’s where the guy dropped his load on her back and then threw the sheet on her. Howard asked about the fucking and Fred threw in some fart sounds which she really likes. Howard said she’s an amazing girl.
Howard said that Kacey is going to be tough to beat. He said she’s gorgeous. He said they haven’t met the other girls yet. He got in another plug for Beezid.com which is their sponsor. Howard said there’s a second place prize of an LG HDTV and Blu-ray player. Then there’s an iPad and other stuff for third prize.
Howard asked Kacey if she wanted to show the judges her body naked. She said that she would do that. Kacey took her top off. Howard told her not to get implants because he loves her breasts. She said she thinks implants look retarded. Howard said he likes her small boobs. She said they’re just an AA-cup. Howard liked that.
Howard asked Kacey what got her the call to Charlie’s house. She said it was her puffy vagina. Howard had her show that again. Howard also asked about the size of Charlie’s penis and if it’s really that small. She said that it was normal to her when she saw it.
Howard said he heard that Kacey has a problem with Capri Anderson. Kacey said she prefers not to know her. She said she doesn’t like her crying and crap in her interviews. She said she feels like she’s lying. Howard had Kacey take a seat and then brought in Capri.
The Porn Star Pageant – Capri Anderson.
Howard had Capri Anderson come in after playing an intro. Howard said that she looks so innocent and young. He said that he finds it hard to believe that she’s in the business. Capri said she’s been in it since she was 18. She said she prefers to be called a porn star and not an escort. Howard said Charlie Sheen did pay her to be with her though. She said he did. She also said that she’s turning 23 soon. Howard asked Kacey and Capri if they weren’t getting along. They hadn’t met each other so they were just meeting today.
Howard asked Capri about what happened to her. She said that she saw some abuse. Kacey said she didn’t see that when she was with him and he was on a bender at the time. Howard said Capri went to dinner with Charlie and Denise Richards was there. She said it was very exciting for her to see her. She said she had no idea that she was going to be there.
Howard asked Capri what she has going on. She said she just signed with Vivid for a year. Howard asked Kacey if she wishes she had a contract. She said that they don’t make a lot of money so she’s glad she doesn’t have a contract. Capri said that she has a great deal and she is going to be making good money. She said they were very generous.
Howard asked Capri about what she’ll be doing now. She said she’s going to be doing strangers now. She didn’t do that in the past.
Howard said that Capri was with Charlie Sheen at that dinner with Denise Richards and asked how that went. Capri said she didn’t even know who she was having dinner with until she got there. She said there were a bunch of other women there as well. She said that he was a lot of fun in the beginning of the night but it went sour. Howard asked if she’s a party girl who drinks a lot. He asked if she’s ever had blood in her pee. She said that she hasn’t.
Howard asked about how Denise Richards had left in the middle of the dinner that night. Capri said that she did get uncomfortable and left. She said she felt really bad about what went down that night. Capri claims that Charlie got physical with her. Capri said that they said that she stole his watch but she thinks that they did that because they were doing damage control. Kacey said she believes that she stole the watch. Capri said a lot of America does.
Howard asked Capri what happened that night. Capri told Howard that she went back to the hotel and hung out with Charlie for a while. She said that he had a Charlie Brown tattoo on his chest so she made fun of him for that. He asked her if she puts out for guys she’s not into. She said she won’t do them. Kacey said she did a 500 pound guy who sweat all over her and she could smell taint cheese and stuff on him. She said she had to sanitize everything after that. Howard said that sounds tough. Capri said she’s never had a guy like that.
Howard asked the girls if they ever fantasize about Charlie falling in love and sweeping them off their feet. Capri said it’s just business for her. Kacey said she thinks he looks like the crypt keeper so no way. Howard asked about Bree Olson and what they think of that. Kacey said that’s her thing and she’s making her money so that’s great. She said that Bree is very nice and there might be a little something there for her.
Howard asked what kind of money she can be making. They figured it’s in the hundreds of thousands. Capri said that she was offered 25 grand in cash after the whole story broke about her. She said that she’s assuming that Bree is getting a lot of money to hang around him.
Howard asked if they think Bree is thinking this will make her the most popular porn star in the world. Howard said it might be a smart business move. Kacey said Bree is cashing in big time. Howard asked if they think Nat can really be in love. Capri said there was some weird jaw action going on with her. Howard said he noticed that too.
Capri told Howard that she took her dress off for Charlie that night. Howard said these girls are so free. He said that maybe they should get it on. Kacey really doesn’t like her for some reason. Gary asked Kacey why she’s so protective of someone she met for just a day or a week. Kacey said she spent a lot of time talking to Charlie while he was high on cocaine. She said there’s a lot of time to talk when you’re high like that.
Howard asked Capri about her night with Charlie and what went wrong. Capri said they had a drink and Charlie went off to the side and she was checking her phone. She had taken her phone out to check the time and she was in her underwear at the time. She said she heard him snorting something. then he took off his shirt and he started in on his rant about something she didn’t understand. She said she thought about leaving but she stuck around. They made out for like a second and then it turned sour. She said they started with some sexual activity but they really only made out. Capri said Charlie got physically violent after he snapped. She said that she started to resist him but she didn’t want to get into that because she has a pending lawsuit.
Capri said she got off the bed when he got physical. Then he threw the lamp at her and started smashing stuff. Kacey asked her why she’s suing him if he apologized to her and offered her money. She said she’s trying to teach him a lesson. She said that he can’t be doing stuff like that. Kacey said that sounds kind of mean.
Kacey doesn’t seem to think that she went through as much as she says. She said that she sucks dick for a living and she can’t be upset about a lamp being thrown at her. Howard asked Kacey if she’s ever been attacked while on a job. She said she hasn’t. She said she was choked out a little bit but that’s just part of the job.
Howard asked Capri if she’s happy with her life. Capri said she is. She’s doing some feature dancing and things like that. Howard asked if she can show them anything. She showed the guys her butt.
Howard said the girls pictures are up on HowardStern.com.
Robin asked Kacey why she doesn’t believe Capri’s story if Charlie really did trash the hotel room. Kacey said that she got angry because she wouldn’t give Charlie a blow job. Capri said that’s not why he snapped. She said that the story is all in the police report. She said that anyone can read that if they want. Capri said that she never said she wouldn’t blow him. She said that she was on her way to doing that but Charlie went off on a rant. She said the watch stealing thing was damage control in her opinion.
Howard took a call from a guy who said that she does the back room casting couch porn. That’s what Howard likes to watch. Howard asked if she did that. Capri didn’t even remember. She’s only been in the business for four years. Howard said he thought those were all real.
Howard said he can tell that Kacey is annoyed. She said she’s actually amused. Howard said they have one more contestant.
The Porn Star Pageant – Melanie Rios.
Next up was Melanie Rios. Howard played an intro for her and she said that she was with Charlie and he fell asleep inside her. Howard asked where she’s been hiding and where she’s from. She said she’s from Columbia. She said that she’s probably one of the ugliest ones from Columbia. Howard said that’s impossible. He said that doesn’t seem right. Howard said it seemed like Kacey didn’t like her either. Kacey said she actually likes her.
Howard asked Melanie about what she does in porn. She does just about everything but she’s never done anal. She’s only 19 years old. Kacey said they were in the hotel room together last night and they had a little fun.
Howard asked Melanie if she was molested as a child. She said she was not. Capri said she wasn’t either. Kacey said she wasn’t either but she wished she had been. Howard said she looks like she needs a drink.
Howard asked Melanie if she had a strict family. She said she did and they were not happy when she got into this industry. Melanie said she had a job in an office before this. She said she wanted to try something new and figured she could try this for a living.
Howard asked Melanie if she would recommend this for other women. She said that some of them can’t handle it so she wouldn’t do that. Melanie told Howard about how she used to cry after scenes and stuff like that. She said that she’s mentally strong so she can take it.
Howard asked Capri if she’s strong too. She said she is. She said some girls get into the business and they don’t know what they’re getting into.
Howard asked Melanie about what it was like being with Charlie. She said that he loved her ass. She showed them what that was like. Howard asked how she got hooked up with Charlie. She said a friend set that up. She said she loved Charlie and she knew of him. She said that she just thought he was a nice guy and didn’t even think about his fame. Howard said that she claims that she had sex just twice even though she hung out with him about 20 times. She said there were always other women around. Howard said it must cost him a fortune to throw these parties. Melanie said she thinks that he does it just to have company around.
Howard asked what she got paid to be with him. She said that she was keeping that between them. She said that she got some good money and it went up the second time.
Howard asked Melanie if she saw any violence. She said that she did and she was the one who would calm him down. She said that he always had reasons though. She said that one of the girls got really drunk and she crashed into two cars when she left. She came back and denied it and Charlie got mad at her for denying it. Howard asked if she ever got a car from Charlie. She said she got to drive his Bentley but he didn’t give her one. Howard asked what he did when he got mad. She said he just yelled.
Howard asked Melanie about this porn star house that Charlie has talked about doing. Melanie said she heard about that and so did Kacey. Howard said they must be upset that he’s not doing it and denying he even had the idea. Kacey said that she wouldn’t want to be there because he would be overdosing all the time there.
Melanie said that she really likes Charlie and she thinks that he’s mad at her because her name was thrown into some other stuff that she wasn’t involved with. She said that she does her thing and doesn’t need to sell stories. Melanie said that Kacey dropped her name and that’s why Charlie is upset with her. Howard asked if Kacey did that. Kacey said she didn’t so it must have been someone else who told TMZ about it. Melanie said that she knows some other people who were there and she knows that she wouldn’t do that.
Howard said it seems like Kacey doesn’t like Capri and Melanie doesn’t like Kacey. Kacey said she sold her story because she thinks that Charlie needs help and she wanted people to know what he was up to. Melanie said she thinks that he can do what he wants and he can clean himself up and he knows his limits.
Howard said he doesn’t get why Charlie didn’t have sex with Melanie more than he did. She said she didn’t either. She said he’s so much fun that it’s always great to be around him. Howard asked about the size of his cock. She said that she’d say it’s at about 7 or 7 1/2. She said she’s never seen an 8 and a half like he claims.
Howard asked if the sex was good. She said it was. She said they used rubbers. Kacey said they did too but they kept falling off. Capri said it might be the lambskin condoms because they’re supposed to be the most real feeling.
Howard said that Melanie claims that she had money deposited right into her account by Charlie’s people. She said that did happen.
Gary came in and asked about the time Charlie fell asleep inside her. She said that it was probably the drug use. She said that it just never seemed to be the right time for them when they were together. Howard said he could never fall asleep inside of her. He said she’s so hot.
Capri said that she’s been with guys that she wants to fall asleep inside of her when they’re done. She said that she can imagine doing that.
Howard asked the girls if they need cock. Melanie said she needs it on a daily basis. Capri said she does too. So does Kacey.
The Porn Star Pageant – Voting
Howard said it was time to vote. He asked Melanie if she wanted to show more of her body. They all did. The girls all showed their boobs. They all had natural breasts and Howard said he couldn’t find anything wrong with them.
Gary asked what they were voting on exactly. Howard said he wasn’t sure. He took a call from a guy who asked how many teeth Charlie has in his mouth. Melanie said he has like 2 or 3 gold teeth and they’re kind of cool. Kacey said she thought it was off putting and all she could think of was Lil John. Capri said she didn’t notice the gold teeth. The caller also asked if they would ride the Sybian. Howard said they had to judge first.
Howard took another call from a guy who wasn’t getting his thoughts out fast enough. Howard hung up on him.
Gary wanted to start the voting. He said he has an idea on how to do it. Robin said she had no idea. Howard said he did. They’re playing for $10,000 and only one person is going to win that. He asked the girls if they’re going to get mental on him if they don’t win. Melanie said that she and Capri have a deal to buy something nice for the other person if they win.
Melanie said that she thinks that Kacey is making an ass out of herself doing what she’s doing. She said she sold herself and she’s acting like a total whore. Kacey admitted that she is a whore. That’s what she does for a living. Capri was on Melanie’s side. The girls argued for a minute.
Howard said he would fuck all three of them if he was single. Gary said that Charlie really is a winner after seeing these girls. Melanie said that she’s been hearing that ”Winning” thing for a while now. She said he’s been saying that a long time.
Howard asked Kacey if she was okay. She said she’s actually having a good time there. She thinks that the other girls are jealous. Melanie said that she’s not jealous. Kacey said that Melanie isn’t going to win, just look at her. Melanie said that she thinks Kacey is a gorgeous girl even though she doesn’t like her personally. Kacey said she thinks the same about Melanie.
Howard said he would never fall asleep in any of them. He said he could get them all loving one another. He said that there is some infighting going on though. Howard said they care about their title.
Kacey said that she just wants to win this beauty pageant. Howard said this is more than a beauty pageant. He said it’s more than that. He said it’s about what’s inside too. The girls were still throwing little jabs at one another as they were talking about that. Kacey said she likes the honesty that’s coming out of them. She said they’re getting vulgar. Melanie said that she wanted to kill Kacey after she mentioned her name in the press. Kacey said she never did that and she’s going to leave it at that.
Ralph called in and said that the girls should figure out who is ratting them out. He said that hookers are supposed to keep their mouths shut. The girls said they’re not hookers. Ralph said that their job is to keep their mouths shut so that’s what they should do.
Capri said that she had to go out and get a lawyer after the whole story broke. She didn’t break the story herself. She said she didn’t’ want to be in the press for that story. She said that she’s not even sure who called the cops.
Howard asked the girls if they were ready. Of course they were. Gary started off judging and said he’s ruling Capri out because she had a brief encounter. Gary said Melanie is really cute but he likes the train wreck that is Kacey. He said that there is no code of ethics between call girls and that’s how he’s judging. He said he’s giving his vote to Kacey. Melanie and Capri weren’t happy about that.
Howard had Fred cast his vote. Fred said that they’re all smoking hotties but Capri didn’t use her vagina with Charlie. She just hid in the bathroom. She said that she will show them her vagina if they want to see. She did that but it didn’t change Fred’s mind. Fred said that he’s giving his vote to Kacey. He liked the stories she told.
Howard went to Ronnie the Limo Driver next. Ronnie said that he didn’t dig the girls coming in and tag teaming Kacey. He said that they all threw Charlie under the bus by talking about him today. He said he’s voting for Kacey too. Howard said he’s shocked.
JD gets a vote too so Howard had him give his vote. JD said that Kacey is the only one that sold her story. He said they were all honest and he’s voting for Capri based on looks alone. He said he’s already following her on Twitter.
Howard said that he was going to get a woman’s vote next. He went to Benjy. Benjy said that Melanie is out because she’s not white. He was just kidding. Benjy said that Capri has a great body. She felt like taking her clothes off because of that. Howard told her to just do it. Benjy told her to get on all fours. He said that she looks like Lindsay Lohan a little bit. Benjy said that he can’t stand how Kacey rips into someone the way she does but she’s so smart and so strong that he has to give her his vote.
Howard said that Capri got naked for that. Howard told Kacey to take something off too. She said she was strapped tight but she’d take it off. Gary gave her a ”Wow!” when he saw her.
Robin said she has no idea how to vote. She said they were all great. Howard said he would vote then. He said that Kacey is a doll. He said she’s beautiful. He said Capri has a great body too. He said she’s smokin’ hot. He said Charlie Sheen is the man. He said the two of them are amazing. Howard said he didn’t like how Melanie and Capri teamed up on Kacey. Melanie said that she doesn’t like her because she’s not a nice person.
Howard said he was going to vote for Melanie because she didn’t get any votes. She didn’t want a pity vote. Howard said he would give it to Kacey then. Howard announced the winners and what their prizes were. He said he likes the prize that Melanie was getting for third place. She was super happy about the iPad and the camera she won. Howard said they’re all winning.
Howard had Max from Beezid.com come in and present Kacey with her $10,000 check. Max congratulated her on the win. There were a couple of girls with Max so Howard asked what their story was. They were part of the presentation and the girls said they had never been with Charlie Sheen.
Howard said he thinks he has had enough of all of them and wrapped up the pageant. Howard said they were all ”Winning!” He went to break a short time later.
During the break Howard said he forgot to give the girls their plugs. He said that a couple of them are going to be at Scores tonight. He also said that Kacey is on PornHub.com and Capri is a new Vivid girl.