Excerpt from Artie Lange’s Crash and Burn

In Crash and Burn, Artie Lange tells the behind-the-scenes story about his meltdown on The Howard Stern Show:

Artie Lange Crash And BurnIt was about this time in my crash that my performance on the “Stern Show” slid into the s— after eight solid years. If you want to talk about a loss of timing, all I need to say is that falling asleep on air, with 6 million people listening, became my most consistent contribution. That is when I wasn’t making nonsensical comments, interrupting Howard, or fighting with just about everyone.

One morning that sticks in my mind was the day we had Ben Stiller and Jimmy Kimmel on the show. At some point in the conversation Kimmel mentioned that he was friends with Tom Cruise and that he didn’t believe the story in “Too Fat to Fish” (Lange’s first book) where I talk about how rude Tom was to me on the set of “Jerry Maguire.” Jimmy was being friendly about it, just saying it didn’t sound like Tom, but I didn’t see it that way at all. I saw it as a personal attack.

“F— you, Jimmy,” I said. “Tom Cruise is a f—— a——. He’s a f—— creep.”

“Calm down, Artie,” Howard said.

I didn’t calm down, of course. I kept at it to the detriment of the show and to my already sagging performance. That was the first time I really sucked, but it was far from the last.

In September Howard had to sit me down for a heart-to-heart, which he’d never had to do in my eight years on the show.
“Listen, Art,” Howard said. “We don’t know if you’ve got something going on again, but you’ve not been doing your job on the air lately.”

“Howard, I’m clean,” I said. I was totally lying — I was high at the time.

“We always had a rhythm, Art,” Howard said. “You and Robin and I were always seamless, and that was great. But now you’re sort of interrupting us and I’m worried about you. You get crazed over little things. I don’t want to drug test you because that’s none of my business, but I want you to be all right.”

“Howard, I’m clean and I’m working on myself,” I said. “I’ve gotten rid of the drugs, but I’ve got a lot of work to do on myself. I understand that.”

“I don’t want to fire you, Artie,” Howard said. “It seemed like you were doing so good. Just work on that.”

“I will, Howard, I promise.”

Yeah, right. It just got worse and worse.

Artie Lange Crash and Burn Book Cover

Veteran comedian, radio personality, and #1 New York Times bestselling author Artie Lange will publish his memoir with Touchstone. The highly anticipated follow up to his runaway #1 New York Times bestseller Too Fat to Fish, the memoir, titled Crash and Burn, will be published on October 29, 2013.

Artie Lange Crash and BurnCrash and Burn is an eye-opening, absorbing, and often darkly funny account of Artie Lange’s near-fatal battle with heroin and alcohol addiction during his tumultuous comedic career and the remarkable story of his recovery. Written with his longtime collaborator, bestselling author Anthony Bozza, Crash and Burn reveals the stories behind Artie Lange’s drug-addled departure as a personality on “The Howard Stern Show,” his public implosions, such as his infamous guest appearance on HBO’s “Joe Buck Live” in 2009, and the story behind his apparent suicide attempt in 2010 for which he had to be institutionalized. Crash and Burn recounts the severe battle with depression Artie Lange endured while out of the spotlight and his hard-fought path to sobriety. Readers will learn how staying clean and sober is a challenge he faces daily. Crash and Burn will include a foreword by national sportscaster Joe Buck.

“Like John Belushi and Chris Farley before him, Artie Lange was widely known for both his outrageous comedic acts and appetite for self-destruction,” said Stacy Creamer, Vice President and Publisher of Touchstone. “Fortunately, Artie Lange survived to tell his tale. Crash and Burn is the book his fans have long been waiting for, a memoir that is equal parts outrageous, heartbreaking, hilarious, and always uncensored Artie Lange.”

Artie may appear on the Stern Show in November

Comedian Artie Lange has yet to do an in depth interview on his January 2010 suicide attempt but hopes to do so on the Howard Stern Show in November, when his book Crash and Burn is released.

“I think I’m at the place where I can do it. It would be a heavy thing,” says Lange about a hoped-for Stern visit. Fans have been waiting for Lange to appear on Stern’s show, and Artie says he and Stern wanted to make sure he was emotionally ready.

Sober since April 14, 2011, Lange says, “Toward the end it became so terrible trying to be f—– up 24/7.” His addiction led him to rehab after he tried to do himself in with a knife. His mother reportedly found him.

“I have a book coming out in November,” said Lange. “And obviously it’s going to cover a lot of crazy, crazy stuff. And I was told, possibly, when the book came out to come on, because it’s going to cover a lot of stuff that happened on the show. I mean, I would do it whenever they wanted, but I understand their apprehension and it’s not out of any bad feelings. It’s out of them being concerned for my health and anything that going back on that show might bring back up for me.”

Artie Lange’s new book titled Crash and Burn

Artie Lange talked about writing his second book, tentatively titled ‘Crash and Burn,’ during Thursday’s appearance on Joe Matarese’s ‘Fixing Joe’ podcast.

“It’s going to be called ‘Crash and Burn’ as of right now, and it’s going to be about—the crashing and the burning. That’s a working title. It’s going to have a lot of stories where I’m baring my soul a little bit. There’ll be some stuff from my teenage years and just stuff I remember, like there were kids I looked up to and I realize that my psyche was screwed up at an early age.”

“I feel like a new person. Ive never felt this good in my life. Never—mentally, physically—I mean, I could still use a few sit-ups at this point.”