An anonymous Artie Lange fan who refers to himself only as Bob Abouey has started a grass roots campaign to elect the Howard Stern Show co-host as the next Mayor of Hoboken, New Jersey. Hoboken’s recently elected Mayor Peter Cammarano served only 30 days in office before being he was arrested for participating in an international corruption scandal. A special election for the Mayor of Hoboken position is scheduled for this November.
On August 11th, Bob Abouey launched a press release announcing the Artie Lange for Mayor campaign. In addition to praising Artie Lange for his down-to-earth life approach,
Bob Abouey pointed to several other qualities that made him a good match for the Hoboken Mayor position:
A former longshoreman with a rap sheet should have no problem getting elected in Hoboken. It’s practically a requirement. The fact that he was All-County in high school is icing on the cake.
Abouey openly admits that the Artie Lange for Mayor campaign doesn’t have the official endorsement of the candidate himself. Artie Lange’s boss Howard Stern, however, is in full support of the campaign. The King of All Media suggested it would be a good opportunity for Lange to do some public service. Howard Stern also suggested that as his first order of business, Artie Lange could pardon himself for his recent DUI charge. And on top of it all, offered Stern as an additional selling point: â€œYou could legalize heroin.
With Stern’s encouragement, Artie Lange took an on-air moment to contemplate his platform and then proudly announced:
I would legalize all drugs and tax the s— out of them,â€ said Lange. With Artie Lange as Mayor, it seems Hoboken would become a real life version of Amsterdam from Season 3 of The Wire.
And what Artie Lange do with all of that drug revenue? Police would get $200,000 a year and firemen would start at $150,000.
While fans of ABCâ€™s Dancing with the Stars wait with bated breath for the announcement of the â€œcelebritiesâ€ scheduled to cut a rug for the upcoming ninth season, gossip speculators are going wild trying to predict what B-listers will take the dance floor this time around. With names like Sherri Shepherd, LaToya Jackson and Paula Abdul being bandied about as possibilities, those with their finger on the pulse of the celebrity buzz scene may be overlooking one very attractive prospect: Mrs. Howard Stern.
Howard Stern has said that his wife/model/entertainment correspondent/animal activist/trophy â€œBeth Oâ€ will be traveling to Los Angeles next month to participate in a televised reality show in some capacity, but the King of All Media is keeping quiet on the details. Although Howard Stern has stated that Beth O is scheduled to be gone on her mysterious Hollywood mission for â€œabout a monthâ€ (probably not long enough to be on Dancing with the Stars) some fans see the statement as the weakest of subterfuge.
Beth Oâ€™s imminent departure has been a hot topic on The Howard Stern Show, with many of Howard Sternâ€™s cast members projecting that their leader will enter a cranky tailspin while his queen is away. The Sterns are fans of Dancing with the Stars, and Howard Stern regularly discusses the reality show on-air.
A winning eBay bidder and one guest will be hanging out with Howard Stern in studio at The Howard Stern Show in New York. While the price of $10,601 (proceeds donated to charity) does not include travel or accommodations, it does offer a rather unique insiders view of the Howard Stern show.
The winner and their guest will spend approximately 1 hour in the studio. Because Howard Stern tapes without a studio audience. The winner will be amongst few who have ever sat in the room with the talent while a taping took place.
Howard Stern and his band of gleeful misfits were back live on the air Monday morning after another long and torturous week for fans stuck in humorless traffic. The King of All Media wasted on Mondayâ€™s broadcast to respond to mudslinging he received from the mainstream media during his on-air absence.
Reuters reported last week that Sirius XM posted a quarterly net loss of about 1% last quarter, but also reported that the loss of subscribers for the quarter was lower than expected.
Instead of attributing the decrease in subscribers and revenue to the recession and huge drop in auto sales (which is where most satellite radio subscriptions are sold), CNBCâ€™s Dennis Kneale blamed Howard Sternâ€™s high price tag for Sirius XMâ€™s financial woes.
After complimenting Sirius XM executive Mel Karmazin as a â€œgreat salesman,â€ Dennis Kneale went on to say: â€œâ€¦in the end, does it turn out they just overpaid for Howard Stern and they have too much debt? I wonder if John Malone bailed them out temporarily hoping that they kind of go belly-up so they can get a hold of those assets really cheap.”
If thereâ€™s anyone whoâ€™s used to getting no respect from the mainstream media, itâ€™s Howard Stern. Still, the King of All Media took offense to Knealeâ€™s characterization of him as a drain on Sirius XMâ€™s resources. On Monday morningâ€™s broadcast of The Howard Stern Show, Stern offered an alternate perspective on Sirius XMâ€™s financial situation.
Howard Stern claims that it was the millions of subscribers that he and his team of grown-up juvenile delinquents brought to Sirius that brought XM satellite radio â€œto its kneesâ€ and forced the merger between the two satellite giants. Howard Stern also pointed out that during conference calls with Mel Karmazin, Karmazin always emphasizes that the only program on Sirius XM radio thatâ€™s paying for itself is The Howard Stern Show.
Despite the fact that Howard Stern has grown a pretty thick shell after three decades of abuse from the mainstream media, he still threw a minor hissy fit in response to Dennis Knealeâ€™s accusation:
â€œWhy does everyone HATE me?â€ barked Stern in frustration on Monday morningâ€™s broadcast. Howard Stern and his sidekicks discussed the other significant costs on Sirius XMâ€™s balance sheet. Sirius XM has had to pay major fees for Major League Baseball and other big name talent like Oprah Winfrey and Martha Stewart. Howard Stern pointed out that these other high cost channels arenâ€™t bringing in anywhere near the level of revenue associated with The Howard Stern Show.
The incredible shrinkingÂ Artie Lange reported this week that his weight is down somewhere â€œin the 230s.â€Â The talented but tormented co-host of The Howard Stern Showâ€™s weight topped out around 300 pounds last year during a self-destructive tailspin that included wild eating and drinking binges and abuse of both heroin and Subutex, a drug designed to ease heroin withdrawals.
Six months ago, it looked like Artie Lange was on the express train to aÂ Chris Farley style end.Â Now, with a new, hot girlfriend he found in a New Jersey tanning salon and a newfound interest in jet skiing, Artie Lange seems to be back from the dead.
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