Howard Stern on Artie's Suicide Attempt

Howard wasn’t sure what to say about this story in the paper about Artie (Stern sidekick in suicide try). He said he was hoping the story wouldn’t come out. He thought they were out of the woods with that because the family was able to keep it out of the news for so long.

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Howard Stern advertiser Ashley Madison offers Tiger Woods 5Mil

TMZ has obtained a contract sent to Tiger by the people over at AshleyMadison — a website for people who want to secretly cheat on their spouses — offering him $5 million to provide services in connection with the “advertisement, endorsement, sale and promotion” of the website.

The site’s honchos never call Tiger out for cheating … they just think Tiger and his self-proclaimed “personal sins” are a perfect match for their cheeky agenda.

Howard Stern was doing the live reads for Ashley Madison on the Stern show, but then they gave the duties to Artie Lange, since Howard got married.

Robin Quivers new diet and weight loss program

Robin noted that she’d recently met with a doctor who uses beads to help people lose weight – he tapes two small beads behind your ears and massages you with them in a manner that (supposedly) curbs his patients’ appetites. Howard demanded Robin prove her story: “Show me these beads.” Robin obliged, but Howard thought they looked iffy: “What is that – a band-aid over it?” Robin said it was something like that.

Howard wondered if Robin’s obsession with weight-loss had gone too far, but Robin insisted this was a healthy process: “I don’t have a problem losing weight. As you can see, I’m still losing weight. So obviously that is not my issue. I’m just interested in ways other people are losing weight.” Robin later explained that she might write a book about the various methods people try to trim down.

Riley Martin Still Without a Job

Howard listened to a few clips of Dr. Keith Ablow’s on-air therapy session with the recently-fired Riley Martin: “If Dr. Ablow can’t get through to him, then it’s over.” JD came in to say the pair didn’t make much progress: “No. Not really. I think they’re both sort of-I don’t know.” JD later explained: “Riley thinks there’s this conspiracy of people at Sirius hiding his numbers.

Howard thought Riley’s problem stemmed from the way he approached his show on Howard101: “It’s not a career. It’s a fun little thing he gets to do.”

Howard then played a clip in which Riley yelled at Tim Sabean for treating him like a “dumb old jiggaboo” and decided the channels would be better off without Riley: “Wouldn’t it be great if we just replace him with an hour of people crapping in a bucket?”