Interview with Artie Lange on Drugs, Stand Up and Stern

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EXPRESS: For those who haven’t read your book, can you tell us how you got hooked on heroin after kicking coke?
» LANGE: I fell into it on the road one day, as I documented in my book. A comedy club manager in a certain city, I told [him] I was taking a lot of pain killers to deal with the shitty plane rides and hotels, and somehow getting back to work on Monday morning at 6 [a.m.] — which every comic I worked with on the road told me they didn’t know how I did that. I dunno how I’ve done it either; I’ve done it for almost a decade. The guy got me in touch with a dealer for heroin because it was cheaper. And the name of the chapter of the book — the guy actually said this — “Do heroin, it’s better for your liver.” I was popping 50 Vicodin a day, so in his own way he probably had a point.

» EXPRESS: How long have you been clean now?
» LANGE: I hired two off-duty New York City cops who specialize in this to get me off heroin once and all. As of April [2009] I’ve been clean from heroin; haven’t touched it. I lost 50 pounds right away — being on Subutex, this opiate blocker [to quell heroin cravings], helps you gain a lot of weight. I’ve always been heavy, but never near 300. … Anyway, I got off the Subutex, lost the weight, got healthier, [but] I still have bouts with depression.

Read moreInterview with Artie Lange on Drugs, Stand Up and Stern

Benjy is 42

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Steve Langford wished Benjy a happy 42nd birthday, but Benjy again insisted Steve had bad information: “He’s got the birth date incorrect.” Steve laughed that he had a “legal document” as proof as well as confirmation from Benjy’s high school that he graduated in 1985: “We got this one nailed. Plain and simple.” Benjy claimed his birthday was actually September 24th, 1971, but refused to swear on his parent’s life: “I said six months ago I would not swear on my parents’ life anymore.”

Email from disappointed fan to us

F the SFN. It’s a horrid site, that barely works, with a bunch of no life having guys all sucking at the tit of an old man that clearly lives in a bubble now. Howard has completely made the transformation into Hampton’s Howie.

Stern used to be my favorite show, but now it truly is awful. I’m just glad I wasn’t dumb enough to pay for satellite radio and instead downloaded the episodes for free without commercials and put them on my iPod with no limitation as to where I can listen. No need for extra equipment. MP3 player plus my car, and home theater system which both have aux input jacks, or just headphones. All free and way better than paying and listening to Howie talk about the fucking Bachelor, American Idol, or Beth on an over-priced piece of shit “radio” that would break after six months.

SFN sucks, Mutt is a leech and a nobody, Joey Boots is a fat jobless fake-fag for cash. All of these nobodies need to be on suicide watch when old daddy money banks retires in two years.

How did Artie lose all that weight? Down to 230 pounds.

The incredible shrinking Artie Lange reported this week that his weight is down somewhere “in the 230s.”  The talented but tormented co-host of The Howard Stern Show’s weight topped out around 300 pounds last year during a self-destructive tailspin that included wild eating and drinking binges and abuse of both heroin and Subutex, a drug designed to ease heroin withdrawals.

Six months ago, it looked like Artie Lange was on the express train to a Chris Farley style end.  Now, with a new, hot girlfriend he found in a New Jersey tanning salon and a newfound interest in jet skiing, Artie Lange seems to be back from the dead.

Yes, jet-skiing.  On Monday morning’s broadcast of The Howard Stern Show, Artie Lange attributed part of his weight loss to his new addiction to jet-skiing.  Apparently, it’s not as crazy as it sounds.  Jet skiing for an hour is reported to burn 460 calories for a person weighing 145 pounds, and even more for a heftier comedian-type rider.

Artie Lange says to lose another 30 pounds to get down to his goal weight of 200, he plans to “get serious” with regular trips to the gym.