CBS offered $25 million for The Artie Lange Show produced by Gary Dell’Abate

Artie Lange has a new podcast called Artie Lange’s Halfway House. Artie recently had former Stern Show program director Tim Sabean on the podcast. They discussed their time on the Stern Show and also how CBS made Artie and Bababooey an offer to replace Stern on terrestrial radio back in 2004.

Sabean, Artie, and Lange’s co-host Mike Bocchetti were talking about how The Howard Stern Show went from FM radio to Sirius/XM satellite radio. That’s when Artie revealed that CBS wanted him badly to host his own radio show.

“This is one that hasn’t been discussed a lot at all,” Artie said. “Now for a year, we know we’re leaving regular radio.”

“I get a call from my manager one day, about a year before we leave for satellite,” Lange said. “They wanted me and Gary Dell’Abate — Baba Booey to leave Howard, basically to fuck him over.” CBS Radio executives including Westwood One CEO Joel Hollander wanted “The Artie Lange Show produced by The Howard Stern Show producer Gary Dell’Abate.”

“Being a man, it’s America, I have to find out about this offer,” Lange said. “So the offer was they wanted to give me $5 million a year, for four years, which was way more than I was making on Stern. And guaranteed money, by the way, it would have been $25 million if the show lasted a week.”

“Tim [Sabean] has the awful job of bringing that offer to me,” Artie said. “So I get this offer to fuck over Howard.”

“I immediately said no,” Lange said. “Gary immediately said no.”

“I don’t give a fuck about the money, I made a lot of money, Howard let me do whatever I wanted. I loved Howard,” Lange said on his podcast. “If Howard was giving me a buck a year, I wouldn’t do that to him.”

Man Goes to Jail for Shitting On Walls #Tim Sabean

A court has upheld a conviction against a man who spent a week in jail for … leaving the bathroom of a federal courthouse in Maine covered in poop. The cleaner who found the mess says 75% of the floor was “covered in feces” with more “smeared more than two feet up on the walls” and “on the paper towel and toilet paper dispensers, on the toilet paper itself, and on part of the toilet seat and the left side of the toilet bowl,” Salon reports.

But Ronald Strong, 50, says he didn’t mean to leave the bathroom such a dump. Strong says his heart medication caused him to poop his pants, so he went into the bathroom to clean up and was so embarrassed, he didn’t realize how much of a mess he made in the process.

Then he tried to explain the situation:

“I stood up again and I kept wiping myself and then I sat down to put my socks back on. I didn’t have any boxers at that time, so I put my socks back on. I put my jeans back on, you know, I’ve been – I don’t know if you’ve ever had an incident in the kitchen where you have something spill or something, you’re grabbing everything and anything trying to mop up milk or — I don’t know if you’ve ever spilled spaghetti sauce and there’s meat, you’re trying to get it up as quick as you can.

And that’s – basically it was just like this frenetic pace, but it was repulsive, I mean, the smell was — and I was embarrassed, I mean, here I had used the bathroom in my pants, a 50-year-old man and I was in a federal courthouse. It was very, very embarrassing.”

Tim Sabean in Baja

When your day job is running the show for one of radio’s leading personalities, the occasional escape from it all takes on new meaning. Case in point: SVP of Howard Stern Channels, Tim Sabean, whose most recent escape involved dodging cactus, coyotes and scorpions aboard a Honda dirtbike along the Pacific coastline of Baja Mexico.

A novice dirt motorcyclist, Sabean prides himself on straying from the beaten path for his recreational jaunts. Referred by one of Chris Haines’ well-known clients, Sabean booked a four-day motorcycle adventure that would provide a type of experience that few New Yorkers would ever enjoy.

A missed flight from New York nearly sidelined Sabean’s Baja visit, but a late flight and all-night drive south of the border had him waking to the sights and sounds only a morning in coastal Baja can offer. During his ride Sabean’s trailside Tweets included “What a ride!!!!!!!”, “Thanks to the boys at Chris Haines…!!!!” and “You guys are the best!”

Talk of Sabean’s epic getaway also made its way into conversation on the air the following week, and Sabean followed up with an email to the crew of Chris Haines: “Thank you for one of the most incredible weekends of my life! Thank you for one moment in my life I will never forget!”

Riley Martin might not be coming back

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Riley Martin called in to say he thought he’d come to an “equitable agreement” with Dr. Keith Ablow during their on-air therapy session, but he hasn’t been able to get Dr. Keith’s official diagnosis. Tim Sabean came in to say he wanted to first discuss Dr. Ablow’s opinion with Howard off-air: “I need to talk to you off the air what our plan is gonna be. [Riley’s] not dangerous, but his reality is different than ours.”

Howard thought Dr. Ablow didn’t do what he was supposed to: “He didn’t make a dent in this guy.” Later, Howard got Dr. Ablow on the phone and asked his opinion. Dr. Ablow explained that “There are two concentric circles: our shared reality…and then Riley’s.” Dr. Ablow later explained: “For him, the aliens and alien lifeforms and the rest of it represent safety and security…from painful things in life.” Howard thought Riley needed more work before getting his show back: “Riley…Back to the couch.”

Riley Martin Still Without a Job

Howard listened to a few clips of Dr. Keith Ablow’s on-air therapy session with the recently-fired Riley Martin: “If Dr. Ablow can’t get through to him, then it’s over.” JD came in to say the pair didn’t make much progress: “No. Not really. I think they’re both sort of-I don’t know.” JD later explained: “Riley thinks there’s this conspiracy of people at Sirius hiding his numbers.

Howard thought Riley’s problem stemmed from the way he approached his show on Howard101: “It’s not a career. It’s a fun little thing he gets to do.”

Howard then played a clip in which Riley yelled at Tim Sabean for treating him like a “dumb old jiggaboo” and decided the channels would be better off without Riley: “Wouldn’t it be great if we just replace him with an hour of people crapping in a bucket?”