Chris Rock

Chris Rock on the Howard Stern Show (Interview)

David and Chris came in and Howard said he was laughing already. Chris said that Artie was still gone. David said he could see the cobwebs on the chair. Chris said they’ll find out that Howard is behind the whole heroin thing. Chris said that Howard is like on a Johnny Carson like schedule working like 2 days a week. He said that Carson was lax and that’s when Leno took over. He said that Howard hired the one guy who could take over and he got him all addicted to heroin so he wouldn’t be able to do that.

Howard said Chris is great coming in on the attack like that. Howard said he did that to Leno and Letterman too. Howard said Chris went on Letterman first and brought up the cheating thing with him. Howard said Chris was very funny with that. He said he thought it was great the way he went on and attacked like that. Robin said Chris did that when Howard was getting married too.

Howard asked Chris if he’s still married. Chris said he is. He said he used to admire David Spade for what he did even after he had the kid. He said that David is always with hot chicks even to this day. He said the girls who are with him seem to be interested in him too. Howard said he saw a chick who went out with David and she was the hottest chick he’s ever seen. David said that was Nikki. Chris said that he knows her. He said David still has chicks who pull down there panties for him and you know you’re not getting married when that still happens.

Howard asked Spade what he thinks about Chris dating and how that would work. Spade said he would probably end up getting married again. Howard said Chris would be just like him. He said he’d get married too. Spade said he’s not a pussy frenzy like Howard said he was.

Howard said Chris’ problem is like the problem he had. He said Chris would be on a pussy frenzy. Chris said he probably would. Howard said Chris would be alone for a little while but then he’d want to settle down. Howard asked Chris why they behave like that. Chris didn’t know.

Howard asked Spade if he’s dating this Padma Lakshmi chick. David said he’s not. Howard said she just had a kid so he doesn’t need that. Howard asked Spade how he lets them know not to get too serious. Spade goes from girl to girl and Howard anted to know how he does it. Spade said he will date for a couple of months so it’s not like it’s a day to day thing. David said it’s usually the girls who figure out that he’s not that great of a prize.

Chris said that the standards are lower. Spade said the girls usually get fed up with him. He said he’s very mellow and the girls want some drama. He said he doesn’t get emotional. He said he used to be more lovey dovey but he’s not that way anymore. He said the girls get annoyed with that and they’re looking for a fight. He said they want him to care and he doesn’t show any emotion. David said he can stay at the same level with a girl for 2 years and they start to wonder.

Howard asked David if he ever tells a girl he loves them. David said he probably doesn’t. David said that most girls are too good for him. He said that Julie Bowen was one of them. Howard said that someone asked if he was really going to leave his wife alone with Spade one night. Howard said he wasn’t worried about it.

Howard and Spade were talking about how they were going to go out to dinner but they were pretty sure that Chris wasn’t going to make it. Howard said that they’re inviting Chris and his wife but they have a feeling he won’t show up. Howard said he should talk to his wife and tell her that he’s a human being and he’s not going to do anything wrong at dinner. Chris’ wife doesn’t like Howard for some stuff he said like 20 years ago. Howard said he thinks that she should come.

Chris said he has a complaint. He said they were doing this movie ”Grown Ups” and they were having a ball doing it. Chris said one of the reasons was that they were up early listening to Howard every day. He said they were listening to the show every single day. He said that only 12 people have the show so that was a treat for them. Chris said they listened to the show for a month or two. He said that the Denise Richards show was one of the best ever. He said he wanted to marry Denise after that interview. Howard said that Richie Sambora is back with her now, he thinks. Chris said that interview was just amazing. Howard asked Spade if he dated Denise. Spade said he didn’t.

Spade was standing up so Robin asked what was up with that. Chris said he has back problems. Spade said he has a special chair he has to use.

Howard told Chris to go on with his story. Chris said that they loved Howard’s show for that month they were listening. Chris said that Denise Richards interview was just amazing again. Howard said she was gorgeous too. Chris said that Howard went on one of his breaks and he didn’t air the old stuff. It was this History of Stern shit and he said that no one loves that shit. Chris said that they went over everything and no one can love that stuff. Chris said he called Howard about that and Howard thought it was a prank call. Chris said he told Howard this shit sucks. Howard hung up on him. Chris said no one likes that shit. Chris said that show was the only thing making him happy and then they did that old history shit.

Howard said he wanted to explain. He said Chris called early in the morning and he heard some guy saying this fuckin’ sucked and told him to get back on the air. He thought it was a prank call. He said he told Beth that he knows it wasn’t Chris Rock. He said Chris wouldn’t have told him he sucked. Chris said that they can’t air that shit anymore. He said everyone knows that story and they don’t need to hear it.

Howard asked the guys how this movie thing works. He asked who wrote it. Adam Sander and Fred Wolf wrote it. Howard asked how they get the call to do the movie. Chris and Spade talked about how Kevin James was one of the other guys and Howard asked if that part could have been played by Chris Farley. They said it could have but Adam just wrote the movie recently so it wasn’t written just for Chris.

Howard asked if they say yes immediately or read the script first. Chris said he just said yes. Howard asked how they negotiate the money thing. Chris said there is a slight negotiation. He said he’s already on ”yes” so they just have to talk about money. Spade said that Adam asked him to do the movie in the summer and he said he would and he knew it wasn’t going to be some horrible part. Spade said he would have done it even if it wasn’t great money. Chris said they were paid well though.

Howard asked the guys what they got paid. They weren’t saying exactly but Chris thinks that Kevin James got paid more than him. He said he’s fine with that too. Howard said Colin Quinn probably did the movie for the free food. Howard asked about Rob Schneider and how much he got. Howard said he’s been in just about every Sandler movie. Spade said that they’ve all had ups and downs and when you go into this kind of thing the money isn’t that big of a deal. He said they had to go into this thing heavily loaded so they can compete with the summer movies.

Howard asked if anyone hit on Salma Hayek during the shoot. They didn’t think anyone did. Howard asked how long the shoot was. They said it was four months long. Howard said they must have had a good time doing it.

Spade said he was the only one who wasn’t living at the lake house. Spade said he stayed in Boston. He said he wasn’t getting laid out there. He said he was just hanging out and sleeping.

Howard asked Chris what happened with him when Kobe Bryant got mad at him. Chris asked if they just told him that in his ear. Howard said they talked about it on the show not too long ago. Howard said he knows that Chris is very vocal when he’s talking about the game. He asked if he was taunting Kobe on the bench. Chris said he was just talking to Spade and he’s not sure why they thought he was bad mouthing him. Chris said he got scared when they came over to talk to him. Spade said he thinks that they may have been joking around with them during that whole thing.

Howard asked what this movie is going to mean to their careers. Chris said that if it does well it’s good for all of them. If it fails they’re going to blame Sandler. He said it’s all on him if it fails. Howard asked if they own a piece of the film. Chris said that he gets a tiny bit. Spade said ”Really?” like he wasn’t getting a piece of the action. Chris said that bonus is much later on. He said that it’s bonuses and things like that.

Howard asked why they don’t discuss this stuff ahead of time. Chris said he’s more worried about people liking the movies he’s in. He said he’d rather just take less money and be in a good movie that people like.

Spade told Howard that they got to ad lib a lot of their lines in this movie. He said that Rock got to do a lot of lines differently and they had fun doing that. Chris said they all knew they had to bring their A-game to this thing because The Hangover had just come out when they started to film this thing. He said he wants to have a career after this so they had to do the best they could.

Howard asked Chris and Spade about working on SNL with Sandler. They actually shared an office together. Howard asked if they were surprised that Adam became a movie star. Chris aid that Adam worked harder than anyone there. He said that Sandler was always in the office writing. Howard asked Chris if he wrote a lot. Chris said he did but it was another time in his life. He said he got discovered on a tape called Comedy’s Dirties Dozen. He said he was on the tape with Dice, Jackie and a bunch of other guys. Chris said there was a guy who saw him in that and he got the audition on SNL from that. He said that he knew Sandler before that though. He said he was a great stand-up comic at the time. They said that it was getting to the point that people were just yelling shit out during his shows though. It was out of control.

Howard said he’s amazed at how Chris has control over his audience. He said it’s amazing that he has that power. Chris said he was really washed up back then after he was off SNL. He said he had nothing going on in 1993-1995 or so. He was out of the business at the time. Chris said he used to do Politically Incorrect with Pat Boone and people like that. He said his career was over. Chris said that the SNL guys were always cool to him. Spade said that’s because they all go through the same shit.

Howard asked Chris what motivated him to get going after all of that. Chris said he had that SNL credit so he had some stand-up work. He said his goal was to become Richard Jeni or Dom Irrera or someone like that. He said that he wanted to be like those guys making some good money doing stand-up. He said he would have loved to have lived like George Wallace. He said Wallace does his gigs and flies all over the world doing his stuff. Chris said he was so out of show business at the time though. Howard said that Chris created that masterpiece special ”Bring the Pain” after that.

Spade told a story about Lara Flynn Boyle and how he was dating her. He said they were near the end of the relationship at the time and Lara wasn’t even talking to him at that point. He said they went to the Chris Rock show and she was standing up and clapping about all of the jokes that were about small dicks and things like that. Chris aid that anything that was a burn on him she’d stand up for.

Howard asked the guys if they ever stand on stage and think about how dumb it is standing there and telling jokes to people, or do they love it. Spade said he loves it. He said he does alright but he’s not like Chris Rock. David said he doesn’t put in a year straight of doing the same show. He said he can’t even do 5 shows in a week. He said it turns into Groundhog Day for him when he does that.

Howard said that Don Rickles told him that he just wings it when he does his act. The guys found that hard to believe. Spade told a story about Chris Farley going to see Rickles and some of the jokes that Rickles was doing with him. They all got some laughs out of that and said hat Rickles really is a genius.

Howard asked Spade how he got on SNL. Spade told that story and talked about how Dennis Miller had kind of found him.

Howard said he had to apologize to David over this Time magazine article he wrote about him a few years ago. Spade said Howard was such a dick for that. Howard said he was sorry. Chris didn’t believe that Spade had actually written the thing himself. Howard asked Spade if he has anyone writing for him. Spade said he doesn’t but he is going to have some guys help him out. Chris said that he has like 5 guys that will help him out with his act. Spade said he has Todd Glass open up for him and he will tell him what he should cut out and what shouldn’t be in the act. Spade said he will buy jokes if he sees something really killing. He said he’ll pay like $500-1000 for something really good.

Spade said it’s hard to do all of these talk shows and do different jokes. Howard said that Chris was on Leno talking about how he had fucked over Conan. Chris said he didn’t say that. Howard said that Jay was fired by NBC and he stayed there. He said he should have left the company and gone out to fuck them over when they fired him. He said Jay should have gone to FOX or somewhere else. Chris said that there’s no reason to do that though. Chris said that this is very ”white.” He said that when your boss asks you to do something they think they’re just being asked to do it. Chris aid that they’re being told to do something. He said that Jay was fired. He said he didn’t have to leave though. He just sat there and shut the fuck up and waited his time until he signed his next deal. He said that Jay fucked them over again. Chris said that he likes Leno and Conan by the way. He said he thinks that Conan got fucked over by his agent. He said Conan’s people should have freaked out when Leno was given that show at 10. Chris said the whole thing was dumb.

Howard said he got a message that they had to leave in 5 minutes. Chris was going to do something and Spade was going to do the Today Show.

Chris said that he thinks that Conan is kind of fucking over George Lopez by doing his show early and taking his spot. Howard said that he doesn’t care that much. Chris said that they’re shooting these shows in the afternoon or evening so they could show it at anytime. They’re not doing them live.

Howard said they were running out of time. He said he knows they had to talk to Spade about something. Robin reminded him about the baby. Spade said that she’s turning 2 on August 26th. He said he tried to do the dad thing but it’s tough. He said he really had to get going and didn’t seem to want to talk about it. Spade said it’s a tough situation and it wasn’t something that he had planned. He said that it had a ripple effect on his family life and some relationships he had. He said that it was tough. He said that Harper is a sweet kid and he and the baby mama (Jillian Grace) have been cordial all along.

Howard had to wrap up with the guys. Spade was just about walking out of the studio so Howard had to have him sit down. Howard told Spade he was sorry about the way he treated him over that Time Magazine thing. He said that he was really sorry about that and he’s starting to see things more clearly these days.

Howard had a clip of Chris on Letterman’s show that he had to play before they ended the interview. In the clip Dave had lost his voice and Chris brought that up immediately. Chris said he sounded like an old ass man. He asked Dave if things are alright at home. Then Chris went off on Dave about the things he had going on at work. Chris told Dave he had been in the cave where Dave was at. He said that he just adds on shows when his wife is upset with him.

Howard asked Chris if he knew what he was going to say that night. Chris said he really didn’t. He just brought it up on the spot.

Howard said he was going to see Spade on Thursday night. He asked if Chris was going to show up. Chris said he’s not sure. Gary told Howard that they’re running out of time. Spade was on his way out the door. Howard asked Chris if he was going to join them for dinner or not. Chris wasn’t sure. Howard asked if the wife really hates him. Chris said it’s just convenient for her to hate him. He said she’s just mad at some stuff because you’re supposed to be.

Howard asked Chris how he’s doing and if he’s writing more stand-up. Chris said he is. He said he was at a club about 3 weeks ago doing stand-up in a Brooklyn club. He said that he had fun doing that. He was working on some new material. Chris said that the other comedians are okay with him coming and bumping them. He said that he used to do the same thing and he loved following Sam Kinison after he’d come in and do that. He said that people would walk out and pay their checks as he was doing his thing. He said he goes out and tests this stuff out for 6 months or so before he’ll start booking concert dates. Chris said that his agent hates that too. He said he has to like the whole act before he’ll book dates. He said he’s not like a singer when it comes to that stuff.

Howard said he had fun with this interview. He said he had to wrap up and move on. David was already gone. Howard asked Chris about all of the chicks that David is getting. Chris said it’s not that many. He asked how many weekends there are like that’s how many chicks David is getting. Howard asked if it’s going to get to a point where Spade has to settle down because of his age. Howard said that Spade is working on a TV show for Sandler too. Chris said that Spade has been successful on TV before without Sandler. Howard said he was getting the hi sign saying he had to get going. He wrapped up and gave them some more plugs for the movie ”Grown Ups.” Chris was still telling them to stop with the History of Howard Stern shit as they were ending it. They went to break a short time later.

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