After the break we heard a Jim Florentine ”Terrorizing Telemarketers” prank call where he told the guy he wanted to meet him at a hotel wearing a tight shirt and jeans. Fred also played some Allman Brothers ”Midnight Rider” as they were coming back.
Howard came back and said that Robin’s old boyfriend Jim Florentine was there. He had him come in and said that he was telling Robin that the relationship they had ruined Jim. He said that Jim used to come in and tell disgusting stories and now he doesn’t tell them. He said it must feel weird for Jim or something.
Howard said the whole time Robin was dating Jim she never met this guy Crack Finger. Jim said that he’s not the kind of guy you bring out in the beginning. Howard said Jim was all embarrassed now. Jim said he wasn’t. Robin said she’s the one who should be embarrassed.
Howard said that Jim is the guy who used to do upper deckers in the hotel toilets. Jim said he did that to Bob Levy one time in the hotel room. Jim said the shit keeps coming out into the bowl every time you flush. He said that they used to do that in high school. Howard said that’s the Jim he knows.
Howard said Robin thinks that Jim is a saint but he’s a wild guy. Jim said that she should check her toilet at the shore house. Jim said he really hasn’t done the upper decker thing in about 8 years.
Richard said that Crack Finger once shit on the card table when he lost a card game. Howard said that’s the kind of guys Jim hangs out with. He said it’s ridiculous that Robin never met that guy. Jim said he doesn’t see the guy that often. He said they don’t really hang out that much.
Howard said Jim fucked a chick in the bathroom of a club one time too and he ended up slamming her head into the wall when her foot slipped off the toilet. Jim said he used to hang out with KC too so they did crazy stuff on the road.
Sal came in and said that Jim did a waitress without a rubber. He said that he never told the story before because of Robin. Sal said that the waitress wanted to fuck him so he wrapped his dick in Saran wrap and fucked her. Jim said at least he was practicing safe sex. He said he wrapped it like twice. He said it worked well but it was kind of dry. Jim said that he didn’t finish that time. He said it was in the kitchen and it was dry so it was tough.
Robin said it may have been a mistake to date Jim. Jim said that Robin took it up the ass from a stranger she met 20 minutes before so this can’t be the worst thing she’s done.
Howard said Robin is kind of crazy so maybe Jim is right. He said that she’s done the meat and vegetables thing and the anal thing. Howard said Robin was thinking about being a stripper for a short time too. Jim said he used Saran wrap on his girlfriend one time too. She didn’t like that.
Fred was doing his Jim impression and Howard said he really does sound like Jim. Howard asked if they talk anymore. Robin said they still talk sometimes.
Howard said he read that Jim is seeing a white woman. Jim said he’s just seeing someone. He said that they’re just hanging. It’s only been a few months. Jim said that they are banging too though.
Howard talked to Jim about his VH1 Classic show ”That Metal Show” that’s doing its fourth season this month. Jim talked about how shitty the pay is over there and how great the show is doing. He said that it’s the only original programming over there on that channel. Jim said they’re doing 35 episodes this year so they’re doing one just about every week of the year.
Howard said they had a girl on the show who died. Jim said that her name was Kerri Lee and she died in her sleep. He said that she was their ”Box of Junk” girl on the show. Howard said that just happened. They have a new girl on the show now. Howard asked if they found any Saran wrap next to her. Jim laughed.
Howard asked Jim if he’s spoken to Artie since his thing. Jim said that he’s been keeping in touch with his sister but he hasn’t spoken to Artie. Jim said that he lost his girlfriend to suicide so he knows what that’s like. He said Robin really helped him through all of that.
Jim said that depression can be really bad and the people who try to kill themselves don’t care about who is going to find them and they think that they’re just a pain in the ass. He said that they’ll tell you that they didn’t care about anything in that moment when they tried. Jim said he’s been doing a lot of shows for suicide prevention groups and even Artie helped raise some money for them.
Howard said Robin was digging it when she was dating Jim and she said he was ”deep” at one point. Robin said they had a good time and Jim was a wonderful moment in her life. She said she thinks that they both helped each other. She said that they both came out of relationships and they helped each other.
Fred did more of his impression of Jim and had Jim laughing. Robin said that things didn’t work out and she doesn’t want Jim to feel uncomfortable on the show. She said that they never talked about what it was going to be like if they ever broke up. Howard said he warned them that it was going to be trouble.
Howard read that Jim mouthed off to a security guard at the airport and he almost got arrested. Jim said that they have an x-ray machine for like 30 seconds now. He said that you get radiation for all that time and the TSA woman asked him where he was going when he moved out of the line. Jim said that he didn’t want all of that going through him so he asked if he was in 5th grade or something. Then they did a full body search and they turned him into security.
Jim said that they called him into a side room to talk to him. He said he told them what he said to her and they let him go when they heard the story.
Howard asked Jim about the facial hair he had. Jim said he’s had it for years. He has a soul patch on his chin and one side is longer than the other. He said that it was longer on the right than on the left. Howard said it was wild and it was driving him crazy. Jim said he doesn’t spend that much time thinking about it.
Howard gave Jim some plugs for his upcoming gigs this weekend. He’s going to be doing a one man show too. You can find out more about that at JimFlorentine.com.
Howard asked about the one man show because he didn’t get what that was compared to a stand-up act. Jim said that it’s more telling stories than doing comedy. He said that Colin Quinn has been helping him out with that.
Howard told Jim about one of Robin’s cats dying. He said he must be happy about that. Jim said that the cats used to cock block him when he was with Robin. He had to lock the cats out of the room and they’d scratch at the door.
Howard said that Gary said on the Wrap Up Show that guys with soul patches are douche bags. Gary said he doesn’t like them in general but Jim is a good guy.
Howard said Jim is doing well with the TV show. He was in a movie with Jenna Fisher from The Office. Jim said that there were a lot of people around but he did a sex scene and he didn’t quite pop a rod. He said he kind of had one. He said he had a g-string on when he did the scene. Howard said he did that nude scene in his movie and he got hard in the bathtub with that chick.
Jim wasn’t sure if they were going to show his ass in the movie or not. He said the part was a good one because he has a couple of scenes with her.
Howard asked Jim if he fantasizes about Robin anymore. Jim said that of course he does. He said he thinks about the times they did it and things like that. He said he’ll think about a hot moment after she finished a green drink or something. Howard asked Robin what she thinks about that. Robin said she wasn’t listening.
Howard asked Robin if she thinks about Jim. Robin said she doesn’t. Jim said her new artist boyfriend might be listening. Howard said he finds it hard to believe that Robin doesn’t. Robin said she doesn’t think a lot about ex’s when she’s fantasizing. She doesn’t think about the anal or anything like that. Howard asked if she remembers the cucumber or Jim. Robin just laughed.
Howard asked Jim if Robin ever called him Howard accidentally. Jim said she didn’t but he thinks that Robin has a crush on Howard. Howard said he believes that too but he doesn’t want to embarrass her with that. Howard said he thinks that he broke them up because Jim was afraid that Robin was going to call him Howard.
Howard said he went out with Jim and Robin and Jim would be a dud. He wouldn’t say much but he knew that Jim was a great talker. Jim said he didn’t say much at the Friar’s club because he didn’t want to come off as taking attention away from him. He said he didn’t want to bother him at all.
Howard gave Jim some more plugs and said that he’s going to be at the Boulton Center this weekend. Jim said that’s the first solo theater gig for him. They got in some more plugs for him and Howard apologized to him for something but didn’t even know why. They wrapped up and went to break after that.