Artie Lange stabbed himself 9 times in stomach

Troubled comic Artie Lange landed in the hospital after stabbing himself nine times in an apparent suicide attempt, sources told The Post. Lange’s frantic mom called 911 Saturday morning after she entered his Hoboken apartment and found the bloodied funnyman, a law-enforcement source said. Lange sustained six “hesitation wounds” and three deep plunges. A source close to Lange’s management team confirmed that the Howard Stern sidekick stabbed himself, adding that his mother had come to visit him that day to drop off food. Surgeons managed to save Lange despite heavy bleeding. “We all have our demons,” Stern said on-air this week, referring to Lange’s past battles with addiction. “Artie has given this show tremendous moments of great comedy. He’s a tremendous contributor. He is a good man. Don’t forget how great he is.”

How did Artie lose all that weight? Down to 230 pounds.

The incredible shrinking Artie Lange reported this week that his weight is down somewhere “in the 230s.”  The talented but tormented co-host of The Howard Stern Show’s weight topped out around 300 pounds last year during a self-destructive tailspin that included wild eating and drinking binges and abuse of both heroin and Subutex, a drug designed to ease heroin withdrawals.

Six months ago, it looked like Artie Lange was on the express train to a Chris Farley style end.  Now, with a new, hot girlfriend he found in a New Jersey tanning salon and a newfound interest in jet skiing, Artie Lange seems to be back from the dead.

Yes, jet-skiing.  On Monday morning’s broadcast of The Howard Stern Show, Artie Lange attributed part of his weight loss to his new addiction to jet-skiing.  Apparently, it’s not as crazy as it sounds.  Jet skiing for an hour is reported to burn 460 calories for a person weighing 145 pounds, and even more for a heftier comedian-type rider.

Artie Lange says to lose another 30 pounds to get down to his goal weight of 200, he plans to “get serious” with regular trips to the gym.