Artie Lange: “4 years of probation is a long time. I am gonna try my best.”

Comedian Artie Lange was sentenced to four years of probation for drug charges stemming from a May 2017 arrest for heroin possession.

 

New Jersey State Superior Court Judge Nancy Sivilli handed down the sentence along with orders to complete an outpatient drug treatment program and 50 hours of community service.

Not long after he was sentenced to four years of probation for heroin possession, comedian Artie Lange tweeted about the judge’s decision.

Lange, 50, thanked Judge Nancy Sivilli and called her decision “very fair” but said that he still found the length of the probation daunting. He proceeded to call his history of addiction a cautionary tale.

In Superior Court in Newark on Friday, Sivilli also sentenced Lange to 50 hours of community service and ordered him to report back with information on his enrollment in an outpatient drug treatment program within 10 days.

“The judge was very fair!” Lange tweeted. “But 4 yrs probation is a long time. I am gonna try my best. If I end up in jail for yrs let my life be a lesson to you kids battling Heroin. I had everything! And more. I traded it for powder. Don’t make that mistake. Ur better than that. & I love u!!”

Kevin Hart is the Highest-paid and Hardest Working Comic

Kevin Hart, the highest-paid comedian in 2016, was a guest on the Howard Stern Show this week to promote his new book, I Can’t Make This Up: Life Lessons. Kevin Hart revealed that he and Chris Rock threw out their comedy material and went back to the drawing board after watching Dave Chappelle’s recent set.

Hart recalled a recent night that he and Chris Rock tried out some new material at the Comedy Cellar in New York. Both got off stage satisfied with their performance.

“Dave Chappelle pops in later that night. Me and Chris go downstairs so we can watch Dave. Keep in mind, me and Chris are excited. Dave went on stage. It was so good that me and Chris just took what we had, we balled it up. We threw it in the trash.” Hart added, “I was so disgusted at seeing where my level of thinking was after seeing where Dave was.”

He went on to reveal his strategy for building a successful career as a comic, which often includes doing 45 sets in a week until he gets his material just right.

Hart spent 30 hours a week getting from Philadelphia to New York City for five minutes of stage time.

“The unsuccessful get halfway to the finish line, then turn around,” he states. “The successful get halfway, then keep going. Both run the same distance, but only one makes it to the finish line.

The Stench of Failure (Artie Lange Stand Up Comedy Special & Interview)

The Stench of FailureArtie Lange’s newest stand up special was highly anticipated this year, largely because of Artie’s personal struggles which he shared for many years on the Howard Stern Show.

The Stench of Failure was recorded in New Jersey and premiered on Comedy Central. Artie describes it as “stories about me and rehab and drug use and mental homes and general craziness.”

Artie is planning on making his return to the talk radio format on Jan 5th. While his new show won’t be on terrestrial or satellite radio, he is making it available online as a podcast.

Some interesting questions Artie answered during an online question/answer:

Q: When was the last time you talked to Howard Stern?

A: About 2 years ago.

Q: In 2006 you admitted to having a man’s load shot on your chest at an orgy. Since then, have any other men spilled their seed on your body?

A: No, and that was a complete mistake, and no. It’s never happened again, nor will it ever happen again.

Q: Artie, We lost the greatest wack-paker ever, Eric the “Actor”. What was your best memory of this little guy from Sacramento?

A:He came to a comedy gig I did in San Francisco once, and he was onstage for exactly 4 minutes, and got booed offstage and wanted me to pay him $4,000. And I obliged, cuz I loved him, but he had this kind of “I don’t care” attitude that is what you need in show business, I believe.

Q:Loved you on the Stern show, enjoyed both your books too. The show has never been as good since you left. Will you ever do an interview with Stern? Or appear on wrap up maybe?

A:Sure I would if they wanted me to! But the time would have to be right, I think. But of course I would, I would do anything for the show.

Q:What is your podcast going to be like? How many hours/how often, etc? How much will it cost? Loved the direct TV show.

A:The show will be at least 3 times a week for 2 hours per day. And the cost will be $6.95 a month, we’re working on it, nothing too expensive. But it will be COMPLETELY uncensored and a lot of fun, so it’ll be a blast, I promise.

Q:What was your favorite moment ever on Stern?

A:Probably when I got to sing with AC/DC. I got to sing “You Shook Me All Night Long.” Out of a bunch of fun times, that was probably my favorite time.

SiriusXM creating Stand-up Comedy Channel

Starting this spring, SiriusXM subscribers will be able to listen to Comedy Central’s broad library of stand up comedy and other comedy recordings.

George CarlinComedy Central and SiriusXM Radio announced this morning that they will start streaming a 24 hour channel that will draw from thousands of hours of stand up comedy from Comedy Central produced TV shows and audio recordings, such as Premium Blend and Comedy Central Presents.

No word yet on whether more high-profile Comedy Central talent, such as Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert, will have a presence on the channel.

In a press release, Comedy Central announced that the new channel will include “new performances, behind-the-scenes and backstage broadcasts from Comedy Central events,” as well as broadcasts from comedy clubs, and blocs of programming that use popular comedians as “guest DJs.”

Artie Lange stabbed himself 9 times in stomach

Troubled comic Artie Lange landed in the hospital after stabbing himself nine times in an apparent suicide attempt, sources told The Post. Lange’s frantic mom called 911 Saturday morning after she entered his Hoboken apartment and found the bloodied funnyman, a law-enforcement source said. Lange sustained six “hesitation wounds” and three deep plunges. A source close to Lange’s management team confirmed that the Howard Stern sidekick stabbed himself, adding that his mother had come to visit him that day to drop off food. Surgeons managed to save Lange despite heavy bleeding. “We all have our demons,” Stern said on-air this week, referring to Lange’s past battles with addiction. “Artie has given this show tremendous moments of great comedy. He’s a tremendous contributor. He is a good man. Don’t forget how great he is.”