Tila Tequila rides the Sybian

Howard Stern interviews Tila.

Howard came back and had Tila Tequila come in. Howard said he had never gotten so much hate mail before she was on last. He said he has to talk to her about that. Howard said that he has a lot to talk to her about.

Tila came in and Howard said she’s looking very sexy. She said it’s been a while. She said she thinks it was around a year ago she was on last. Howard said he got so much hate mail about her when she was on. Howard said they told him not to have her on the show. Howard asked why people are enraged by her. Tila said last year was a crazy time for her. Howard asked why it was so crazy. She said they might as well just replay her last appearance.

Howard said Tila has a crazy life. He said she wants to move to New York and get a ”normal” roommate. Howard said that he would imagine that everyone would be afraid to live with her. She said that it’s the opposite of what people think she’s like. Howard asked if she has a lot of money. She said she’s actually broke right now. She said she just wants to experience what it’s like to be normal. Tila said she went to college for a semester and she kind of misses that normal life. Tila said she’d like to go back to college and party with her colleagues and things like that.

Howard asked if she wants the fame to go away. Tila said that she would like that right now. Howard asked what she wants to go to school for. She said he wants to be a teacher.

Howard asked Tila about her porn tape and what was going on there. Tila said that she is in the tape but she had nothing to do with the release. Howard said he tried to watch it last night but it froze up. He said he wasn’t able to see it. He said he saw some of it and it was pretty hard core. He said it looked like some hot action too.

Howard asked Tila about going to this Insane Clown Posse concert and she got pelted with stones, balloons with urine in them and feces. Tila said they set her up for that. She said that they have a reputation for doing that. Tila said they did the same thing to Method Man the next day. Tila said they just wanted to talk about her and that’s how they did it. Howard asked why people hate her so much. Tila said she doesn’t know. She said he’d have to ask those people.

Howard asked Tila what she would do if she was a P.R. person and she wanted to advise her. Tila said she would just move to New York and not give a fuck about them.

Tila told Howard that the insane Clown Posse set her up and they got what they wanted. Howard said that they advised her not to go on stage and she went up anyway. She said that they’re lying about that. Tila said she was going to sue them but it’s a waste of her time so she’s just going to forget about it and move on.

Howard asked Tila about her MTV show and how she was looking for love on the show. Tila is into women and she had a girlfriend for a while. Tila said they broke up but she just met someone a week after moving to New York. She said that it’s a guy and she hasn’t been with guys for years. She said that she makes guys wait like 3 months before they get in her pants. Tila said she likes girls better but she likes guys who get her jokes. She said that’s a must for anyone who dates her. Howard said he wouldn’t think she’d be into him if she was into girls. He asked if she’d bring girls home for the guy. Tila said that she will only have threesomes with women. She said she’s never had a guy in them.

Howard asked Tila about this woman she was dating and if she was famous. Tila said she was but she doesn’t want to talk about who it was.

Howard asked why Tila thinks that Samantha Ronson was happy about her getting attacked on stage at the Insane Clown Posse concert. Tila said she was pretty cool with her until she said that. She said she was pretty shocked by the comment.

Howard asked Tila about how she was supposed to be on Celebrity Rehab but she didn’t get on. Tila said that there’s a group of rich bitches who do nothing but have Daddy’s money. He said they found out that she had the chance to go on the show and they got jealous. She said they started making up stories about her and sending them out. She said that she knows exactly who said that but whatever. Howard wondered how you bad mouth someone out of celebrity rehab.

Tila said she is up 24/7 and she doesn’t have an Ambien addiction like people claim she does. Howard said she tweeted once that she had an addiction problem. Tila didn’t know what he was talking about. Howard asked if she had an addiction problem. Tila said he has. She said she’s tried just about every drug on the planet at some point in her life.

Howard asked Tila about people throwing human doody at her and how that must have made her nuts since she has OCD.

Tila told Howard about cuts on her arms and how her other personality had done that to her. She said that’s the thug bitch that beats her up all the time. Her name is Jane. She said she has a few other personalities in there too. Tila told Howard about how she wishes that they would leave her alone. She’s done some things trying to get rid of them but she has a hard time getting rid of them.

Tila claims that her Jane personality tried to kill her. Tila said that she tried to prevent her from killing someone else and she had to fight with her to stop from killing someone else so she stabbed her but Jane is in her body so she stabbed herself. Tila said that Jane put video of it on YouTube. She said that there was this gory video of her stabbing her arm up there.

Howard said everything she’s talking about would tell him to stay away from her. He said that he thinks he would fuck her anyway though. He said she must be wild in bed. Tila said crazy girls are wild in bed. Tila said there’s a man in her too. She said his name is Owen. Tila said that the guy is an old British man.

Howard asked Tila if she thinks that she could wake up with an ass full of semen and not know who it was that had sex. Tila said ”ewwww” and said she thinks she’d know. Howard said the Howard TV guys have video of Tila stabbing herself. They played the tape and Tila said you can hear the voice isn’t even her voice.

Tila told Howard that she got into a fight once and made friends with a Hispanic gang to defend her. She said that they brought her into their gang.

Tila said there’s another personality in her that she calls Little Tila. She said she’s very shy and very scared. Howard wanted to talk to her. Howard said hello to her and asked if she was very shy and if she likes anal. Little Tila didn’t know what anal was. She said she didn’t want to talk. Little Tila brought regular Tila back. Howard wanted to talk to Owen. Tila did an awful British accent for about a second.

Howard said that Tila is very attractive and that’s what saves her. Howard said he would like to screen some of her friends.

Howard said Tila is still working on her music career. Robin said she thought she wanted a normal life. Howard said that’s not happening.

Howard asked Tila about what the worst crime is that she committed. She said she was going to go to sleep. Howard asked if it was murder. She wasn’t talking.

Howard played some of Tila’s new song. She said it was the wrong one. Howard said that’s what he had. He asked to dance with her. Howard got up and danced and Tila claimed that Owen was going to dance with him.

Tila told Howard about going to a party last night and seeing a bunch of news anchors there. She said there were some who were messed up on drugs.

Tila told Howard that she changed her name to Miss Tila because even she hates Tila Tequila. Howard gave her some plugs for her new song and her web site MissTila.com.

Howard suggested some more names for Tila. He suggested Tila Vodka or maybe Tila Nyquila or something like that. Howard said he bets that she does the full monty in bed. Howard suggested Tila Fajita. Tila said that was a downgrade from Tila Tequila.

Howard asked Tila about what she does with the chicks she’s with. He asked if she’s tried a strap-on with the girls. She said she has done that. She said that it can feel like pounding her from behind and you feel dick envy when you do that. She said he can cum from just that.

Howard asked if she’s jealous that he has a penis. She said she’d have to look at it first. Howard asked if she’s ever fucked a fat chick. Tila said she hasn’t yet. Howard asked if she’s just into lipstick lesbians. Howard figured that a real lesbian would be with a more masculine lesbian. Tila said that’s not the way it works. Tila said she felt like Jane was about to come out while he’s talking about this. She said she’s going to push her back in and not let her out.

Howard asked Tila what she does with nips. She said she just sucks on them. She said Howard knows what to do. She said that her nipples are very sensitive and she can cum from someone just sucking on them. Howard said a few minutes should be enough then. She said that when you suck on her nipples she can cum because they’re connected to her vagina in some way. Howard asked what kind of sucking it would be. She said that if you suck on one and play with the other with your hand she can cum. Howard thanked her for that.

Howard said that you can get Tila’s single ”You Can Dance” on iTunes. He gave her another plug for her web site too. Howard said she taught him some stuff today too. He said that most of his audience is guys so they go right over those titties usually.

Howard asked if he should lick her vagina too. She said that’s a must. She said that you have to get all sensual with it and tease it with your fingers. Tila said that you can use your finger around her ass too. Howard said it was exhausting what she was describing. He said he likes Tila. He said she’s fun. Howard said he’s going to watch her sex tape too. Tila said that’s why she had to dye her hair black.

Howard had some audio of Tila making some noise in her sex tape. She asked him to stop the tape and she’d make that sound on her own. She made some noise and touched herself. Howard asked if she really did that. She said she did. Howard said she’s lying. Howard said he didn’t see anything but she was showing her wet fingers.

Gary asked if she wanted to ride the Sybian. She said she would do that. She had no idea what it was. Howard told her it was all clean and that she had to be honest on it. Howard said he’d suck her nipples while she’s on it. The guys set her up on the Sybian. She asked what she’s supposed to do. She flashed her tits to Howard. Howard said they’re perfect. She claims they’re real.

Howard had Gary turn the Sybian on and started her off at about 30 percent power. She had him turn it up. She said she was going to cum about a minute later. She asked them to stop but Howard told Gary to keep it going. Tila stayed on it and sounded like she was enjoying it. She asked if she could take it with her. They eventually turned the power down and let her off the thing.

Tila said that was good shit. Howard said her panties were soaked. Howard said she ripped her top off during that. Tila asked if it was going to be all over the press. Howard said of course it is. Howard said her new single is going to go through the roof. Tila said this will be her last appearance ever. She said that’s the end of Miss Tila.

Howard asked if it was as good as she made it sound. She said that they had it at 100 percent and she was rubbing herself. Howard said she’s rubbing her ass too. He said her panties are wet from that. Howard told her to take them off. Howard told her to get back on there with Jane and Little Tila… and Owen too.

Howard said that was some ride. He said she lost herself. Tila told Howard he was supposed to help make her better. She said that he’s not helping her image. Howard said she came to the right place. Howard asked Robin if she saw that. Robin said she saw some of it. Tila asked if they filmed that. Howard said of course they did. Tila didn’t know that people were listening. She saw the video replay and asked them to please delete it. She said she feels so embarrassed. Howard said it was the most beautiful thing she saw.

Tila asked Robin how she feels about doing all of this. Howard said this was Robin’s idea. Tila said she should go to church and become a nun. Howard gave her some more plugs for her song and her web site. Howard said goodbye to Tila, Jane, Owen and Little Tila. She attempted some of the voices but they all sounded the same. They went to break a short time later.

Tila Tequila on The Howard Stern Show

Howard came back and had Tila Tequila come in. Howard said she was wearing something pretty hot. He said she’s got some little bod on her. She said she did it just for Howard. She hadn’t even slept yet. Howard told her to sit down. Tila said she was ready to ”release the poison” today. Howard asked if she was ever a stripper. She said she was.

Howard said Tila’s outfit was see through and he could see her thong and bra through it. She said she was going to go nude under it but she thinks it would have caused accidents. She said that this one caused some commotion when she was on her way there. She said one guy got into a car accident as he was trying to holler at her. She said that he crashed into some old lady’s car.

Howard asked how tall Tila is. She’s 4’11” tall. Howard asked what her background is. She said she’s Vietnamese and French. Howard asked if she had some black in her too. She said she might.

Howard asked if she was a bad kid. She said she was kind of out of control. She said she was good in school though. Tila said that her teacher was a coach and her history teacher. She said she knew he had a crush on her. She said that she was thinking about getting a job as a stripper and told him about that. He told her she was breaking his heart.

Tila said she started to waitress at a strip club when she was just 17. Howard asked if she banged all of the dudes in school. She said she didn’t. Tila said she may have come on too strong. She came on really strong with people. She had her first lesbian experience when she was just 8 years old. She said they would always hide in a closet and touch each other down there. Tila said she didn’t even know what it was at the time. Tila said that they kept touching and rubbing and started playing together.

Tila said one day they went to her room and she asked the other girl if she felt something weird down there when she saw people kissing on TV and stuff. Tila said she and the other girl went into the bathroom and did some lesbian role playing stuff. She said she had the other girl come in and catch her naked in the bathroom and then spank her with a comb.

Tila said she had her first orgasm at 5 years old. She said that she was half asleep as her older sister was getting ready for school. Tila said she felt this rush down there and wondered what had happened. She said she remembers how amazing it was. She said she started thinking about the guys and girls that were outside again. She said she started touching it around that age and her mother used to catch her doing that. She said her mom would beat her ass whenever she got caught.

Howard asked Tila if she’s into rough sex. Tila said she’s the type of girl who can fuck you but make love at the same time. She said that’s why people fall for her so fast.

Howard asked how she got on TV with her show ”A Shot at Love.” Tila said they have 16 girls and 16 boys on the show. She said she’s been asked if the show is real and she says that she’s very real with anyone she’s with. Howard asked if she’s more bi-sexual than hetero. Tila was actually engaged to a woman. She said she came out after they got engaged. Howard said he’s with her and he’s into women more than men too.

Howard asked Tila how dirty she gets in bed. Tila said she makes people fall in love with her. She said that she makes people fall in love with her. She said that she can fuck a person and make love at the same time. Howard said he heard that already but wanted to know what that means. Tila said she’s very seductive and she talks to people in a way that makes people get lost in her moves. Howard said he can see what she’s doing now.

Howard said he was getting a bit of a bone as Tila was talking to him in her sexy voice. Tila kept saying that she can make Howard fall for her in bed too. She kept saying she can fuck and make love at the same time.

Howard asked Tila if she does ass to mouth. She said she hasn’t done that. She said she will put her tongue up a woman’s ass though. Tila said she’s been with some of the real hard core lesbians out there and she’s able to get them off without using any toys or anything.

Howard said that Tila’s name is pretty catchy. He asked how she came up with the name. She said when she was in 8th grade she was a bad girl. She went to juvenile hall and went to jail twice. She said she had 6 near death experiences from drugs, car accidents, fights and more. She said she fought a guy one time. She said she got 6 months in juvenile hall and he only got 3 months. Tila said that the guy’s hand got broken and she walked out and everyone was chanting her name.

Howard said he would assume that being only 4’11” would make her easy to beat. She told him not to let her size fool him. She said she would slit his throat. Tila went on to say that she couldn’t handle drinking tequila so that’s how she got her name.

Howard asked how jail was and if she was a prison bitch. Tila said she had someone taking care of her. She said they had a main queen in jail and they had some gang members in there too. Howard asked if she hated her patens. She said her dad punched her in the head the second time she went to jail. She said she has cut them off for a while.

Tila said she has been on her own since she was 11. She said she ran away from home at 16 and she would go to a club in the afternoon and pop E with her friend. She said she was a Tomboy back then and she was staying with her homie Willie. She said that he was just a friend and she was always a Tomboy so he didn’t want her that way. Howard said he wouldn’t put up with her if she wasn’t putting out.

Howard asked how she became a reality TV star. Tila said that she was in Playboy as a Cybergirl. Howard wasn’t sure what that meant. She said that they do that for their online thing for Playboy. Tila said she stated her own web site where people had to be members. She was topless on that but that was about it for nudity. Howard asked her if that was true that she didn’t have to take off her bottoms. She said she had live chats with her members and she would shave her legs and things like that. Tila said she would talk to them live and get topless on that. Howard said the guys must have been jerking off to that.

Howard asked Tila if that paid enough to support her. She said that she went to college on that money and she was able to support herself.

Tila said she was on Friendster and her profile kept getting deleted. She said that she would create new ones and they would get deleted too. Then she got on Myspace after they asked her to come there. She said she went on there and blasted out her friends telling them about the move to Myspace. She said she kind of helped them blow up. Tila said she became the Myspace girl and started getting magazine covers and stuff. Then MTV picked up on that and gave her a TV show.

Howard asked why Tila is fighting with Perez Hilton. She said that she’s starting her own gossip site and she can make Perez cry like a bitch. Tila said that he can dish it out but he can’t take it. Tila said that Perez was talking shit about her and calling her a whore and stuff. She said that she dished out some stuff to him and he got all upset. Howard said it all sounds kind of childish to him.

Tila said that Perez isn’t even blogging anymore. She said that it’s his sister that’s doing that stuff. She said his site is getting stale now anyway. Howard gave Tila some plugs for her new site TilaTequilaOMG.com.

Howard asked Tila about dating this football player. She said she can’t talk about him. She aid that they settled in a lawsuit so she can’t talk about it. She said that she can’t say what it was about but it was about a domestic abuse case. Howard said she must have gotten some dough if she won’t talk about it. She said she wasn’t in a relationship with that guy. It was a one time thing but she can’t talk about that.

Howard asked Tila if she was pregnant because someone posted that she was on her Twitter. She said she lost the baby. She said she didn’t want to get into that either. She said that people are disrespectful so she’d prefer not to talk about it.

Howard asked Tila why she needs a kid. Tila said she was devastated and she got artificially inseminated. Howard said this was after the death of her finance. Tila said she made a promise to her when she was alive that she would be the pregnant one. Tila said she was going to get married and she was going to have the baby. Howard said the devastation after the death of her fiance, Casey Johnson, led her to get pregnant. Tila said the world was blaming her for the death and she doesn’t get that. Howard said maybe they thought she was an enabler. Tila said that her childhood friends were never around for her.

Tila said that she’d ask Casey what her medications were and they would get into fights over it. She said that Casey was a train wreck when they first met. She said that she was able to get really sensual with her and she thought she was healing her with her love. Tila said she was her foundation for love and she started to straighten out. Then she stopped taking the pills. She said one night they stayed up fighting all night about her. Tila said when she’s working she has to have some ”I miss you time” and she has to leave her alone. Tila said that Casey would drink bottles of Nyquil to try and calm down. Tila told her that she would never leave her but that was her paranoia. Tila said she told Casey that she wasn’t going to leave her and she had to stop thinking she was using her.

Howard said it sounds like she was a good influence on her. Tila said they thought that she was the bad influence and they came into her house and took all of Casey’s stuff. Tila said they were all calling her the night before they came to take the stuff and pretended they were upset. She said that they were telling her they wanted to come in and find out what Casey was like near the end. Tila said they came and there was poop and piss all over the place. She said she could hear them talking on their phones saying they wanted to leave the dogs there. Tila told them that was fine and they took her shoes instead of the dogs or anything else. They were more interested in that stuff than how she was doing or how the dogs were doing.

Howard asked Tila if she was hurt that she wasn’t allowed at the funeral. She said she was heart broken over that. She said hat Casey told her about her family life and what that was like and they weren’t that close. Tila said they must have had a lot of guilt with her. Tila said they cut her off from money and they must have felt that pain and guilt. Tila said they took it all out on her.

Howard said that a parent has to have tough love at times. Tila said that wasn’t the reason why. She said that Casey told her why they did it and it wasn’t about drugs or anything. Howard asked what it was about. Tila told a convoluted story about an adoption and how this whole thing went down with Casey and her parents. It wasn’t easy to follow.

Howard said he thought that the family wasn’t happy with her drug use and stuff. Tila said that’s not what it was about. She said that when you have a kid in your life you have to be able to support and raise them. If you take away that money and love then the person is going to start to rebel. She said all Casey wanted was love.

Howard said Tila only knew Casey for a month before getting engaged. Tila said they had very intimate stories they would share together. They got close very fast.

Howard asked why Tila let her family and friends take everything from her home. She said she was confused and devastated and they lied to her. She said they were saying they were going to come over and help her out and they showed up like 6 hours early. Tila said they were violent and they were demanding this stuff from her so it was all shocking and confusing to her. She said that she even helped them bring the stuff out to their vehicles. She said that even the Paparazzi were asking her why she was doing that.

Howard asked who showed up to take the stuff. She said it was Nikki Hilton and Bijou Phillips. Howard asked where her stuff is now. Tila said they took the dog and she thinks that they had it put to sleep and buried with Casey. Howard said he thought that they were animal activists and they wouldn’t do something like that. Tila said she’s not sure that happened but she assumes it did.

Tila told Howard that she was depressed for a long time and she wasn’t able to sleep. Then she had some dreams about Casey and she came to her in the dreams (while she was sleeping, right?) and she was very sad. Tila said in the third dream Casey came into her dream and held the baby. She said Casey told her she loves her and told her to take care of the baby. Tila said she talked to Casey about this in the dream and Casey told her that she’d always be over her watching. She said she held the baby in the dream and that’s why she went out and got pregnant.

Tila told Howard that she was pregnant for just a short time before she lost the baby. Tila said that she figured God did that for a reason and she had the dreams for a reason. Tila said in the fourth dream she saw that Casey had passed on and she was told to ”make a wish” as a shooting star shot by.

Howard asked Tila if she’s with a girl or a guy now. Tila said that guys are so retarded. Tila said she met a guy a couple of weeks ago and this guy gave her the sausage. She said he came along and it turns out to be this K-Fed kind of guy who wanted to marry her. She said that it was a little soon for that. Tila said that she found out that he was cheating on her with like 4 other women. She said that she got all freaked out on a flight and she went off on this guy.

Howard said that Gary has an article about Casey’s dogs and they say that they’re alive and well. Tila said she wants to see video of them. Gary came in and said that they say that Zoe and Elvis are alive and doing well. Tila said that was old news and she doesn’t believe that they’re alive. She said she wants to see video of the dogs now. Tila said they told her that the dogs are no longer around. Gary said that trouble really follows her around. Tila said that she’s a good person though. Gary said that she claims she is but this trouble follows her around.

Tila said that she is nice but she has a short temper and she will stand firm behind her beliefs. She said maybe that’s why it seems that trouble follows her around. Tila said she has a big heart.

Tila said this guy she was seeing had a really small penis. She said that she thought it was his finger when he was fucking her. She said as a person she wanted to help him because he didn’t have a place to stay. She let him stay at her place. Howard said his penis is so small he aspires to have a finger down there.

Howard said Tila put out a song years ago called ”I Like to Fuck.” Tila said she was part of that. She also has a new single coming out today. Howard played some of the ”I Like to Fuck” song. Howard asked how she gets air play with that. Tila said that song was just for fun. She has a new song called ”I Love My DJ.” She said it was originally called ”I Fuck My DJ.” That was actually the version Howard played. Howard said that her album will be out on May 11th.

Howard gave Tila some plugs for her web site TilasHotspot.com and some other things. Tila is working on a new show but she can’t talk about the details yet.

Jeff the Drunk called in and said that Tila is a crazy cunt. Tila told him he sounded like he had a lot of semen in his throat. Another caller said that this is one of the best interviews he’s ever done because she answers every question so clearly and said that they should end it now so they can save the rest for later. He was being sarcastic but Tila thought that it was a compliment.

Howard took another call from an angry guy who was going off on Tila about how awful she is and how much he hates her. Tila thought that he was someone who had dated Casey at some point.

Another caller told Howard to get this crazy bitch on the Sybian. Howard asked if she knew what that was. She said she had heard about it. Tila said that these angry guys are all guys with small dicks. She said they’re intimidated by her. Robin said they wouldn’t be attacking her if they were there.